DR. WALLACE: My parents are divorced, and both are remarried. Both living situations are, shall we say, not optimal for me. Now, I'm not saying that they don't want me living with them, but I am definitely saying that it's not in my best interest. Therefore, I live with my grandmother. She's really nice, and I like living with her very much. I'm 17 1/2, and we "girls" get along great. I love my grandmother, and she loves me and provides a nice home for me to live in. My only concern is my grandmother eats fast food virtually every day!

My grandma has a nice pension payment from my grandfather's job. Grandpa passed away seven years ago, and he made sure grandma would be financially secure, and she is. I think my grandmother might have an eating problem because she's kind of overweight. I've tried to talk to her about watching what she eats since we started living together. She gives me money to buy healthy groceries for my meals; she says she doesn't want to eat healthy because she's too old to change her eating habits.

Is there anything I can do to help her to eat at least a few healthy meals here and there? — Grateful Granddaughter, via email

ANONYMOUS: It would be better if Grandma had a more open mind on this topic, but it is her household, so you must remain respectful of her wishes. Give her space here, but do continue to offer her small, occasional portions of the healthy food you prepare.

Study the types of meals she likes best, and then try to come as close as you can to something like that, but in a healthy way. She might just surprise you when you least expect it, so do continue to tell her how much you love her and wish you could prepare a few home-cooked meals or at least side dishes that she would enjoy once in a while.

And remember to thank her no matter what for providing the place you call home!

PARENTS PLAY A HUGE ROLE

PARENTS: I have many stacks of letters from teens asking me, "If smoking is so dangerous, why do parents smoke?" This brings me to an important question: Are you strict or lenient when it comes to your teen smoking or not smoking? Several university studies I've compiled over the years provide interesting findings on the influence of parents and whether their child does or doesn't smoke during their teen years or shortly thereafter.

Surveys showed that the rates of teens who took up smoking and continued on with it were significantly lower when they indicated their parents strongly and consistently disapproved of their smoking. By contrast, the young people who initially said that their parents were lenient about smoking had a much higher rate of becoming ongoing, regular smokers into adulthood.

These studies showed that parents do play a big role in their children staying tobacco-free. Even the parents who formerly smoked but quit and set nonsmoking expectations with their children had just as much influence as parents who were tobacco-free. This may initially be viewed as a shocking statistic, but the explanation is: "Don't get hooked like I did. I regret it now for multiple reasons."

While other research has shown that peer pressure has a major influence on a teen's behavior, several studies found that strong parental influence often can overpower peer pressure when it comes to smoking.

To summarize: Teens, listen to and obey your parents when they deliver a strong, clear message about not smoking to you. Parents, present this information to the betterment of your beloved children, and keep this important message reinforced at regular intervals. This is truly a win-win situation. You, as a parent, will be very happy to have a nonsmoking son or daughter, and each teen that grows into a nonsmoking adult will thank you later in life for the heartfelt advice that you doled out, because, after all, it was absolutely in their best interest.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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