DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and dating a guy who is 17. I really think he's OK, but I can't stand his parents. Would you believe that they only let us date once a week and that unless something really special is going on, he has to be in by 11:30 p.m.? His unreasonable parents are giving me a headache. What can I do to let them know they are smothering his social life? — Anonymous
ANONYMOUS: Accept the rules set down by that guy's parents, or move on to another guy. When you are not with him, spend time with your family and friends or get lost in a good book. For the headache, an aspirin and a cool glass of water will help ease your pain.
IT'S YOUR TURN TO RELAX
DR. WALLACE: I'm 20 and dating a super guy. We met at a mutual friend's birthday party a year ago, and it was love at first sight. I honestly believe that someday, after we finish college, we'll get married. This guy is the answer to every girl's dream. He has a wonderful personality, has a great sense of humor and is highly compassionate. He is also handsome and intelligent, and he plays the piano beautifully.
However, one of my friends and even one of my family members have made snide remarks about his height. I'm 5 feet, 8 inches tall, and he measures 5 feet, 6 inches tall. They overlook his wonderful qualities and focus only on his height.
My guy is aware that people make comments about my being taller than he is, but it doesn't bother him. He even insists that I wear high heels when we dress up for a date. However, I'm the one who sometimes feels self-conscious.
Will I eventually get over this very stupid feeling? When we're alone, I never feel this way. It's only when we are in public and I think people are staring at us or when my family members or friends make an insensitive remark that I get a twinge of self-consciousness. I hope I'll learn to ignore others and focus on my guy and myself and our relationship. Do you think I am being a bad girlfriend when I have the occasional twinge of self-consciousness? — Taller Girl
TALLER: I'm sorry to hear that a few insensitive, small-minded people are causing you such unnecessary discomfort. When people stare, it's natural to feel self-conscious. Fortunately, your boyfriend is relaxed about it. Good for him! Now it's your turn to relax. You and your guy may very well marry and live happily ever after. Focus on that long-term dream rather than the occasional insensitivity you experience. Good luck to the two of you!
YOUR FATHER BROKE HIS PROMISE
DR. WALLACE: My father promised me that I could have my own cellphone if I got good grades on my report card. Well, I would think that three A's and three B's could be considered very good grades. Don't you agree? When I told my dad about these grades, I politely reminded him of his cellphone offer, but he now says that "getting good grades" to him means "getting all A's." He expects straight A's! That means that if I had received five A's and one B, it still wouldn't have been good enough, and it also means I will not get a cellphone.
I told my dad that I was going to write you about this, and he said, "Big deal!" Do you think my dad broke his promise? He said that you get tons of mail and that my letter would get lost in your mountain of mail. — No Phone Yet, Richmond, Va.
NO PHONE: In my opinion, your father has broken his promise. He asked for "good grades," not specifically "straight A's." I believe that you should have received a cellphone, plus a big hug for being a superior student. With three A's and three B's, you have a 3.5 grade-point average, which is outstanding any way you look at it.
Perhaps at this point, you could offer your high-expectations father a compromise: Tell him that you'd really like the phone as the agreed-upon compensation for all of your hard work in school this semester and that you'll agree to maintain at least that 3.5 GPA from here on out in order to keep the phone. This way, your phone won't be permanent unless you continue to keep up very good grades. Most fathers are very wise, and I trust that yours is, too. He'll most likely see your "counter offer" as a fair one. I hope you both end up happy here. Keep up those good grades!
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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