DR. WALLACE: I'm a first-year student at the University of Iowa. My parents and a scholarship take care of most of my financial needs, but there are times I need money and I don't have it. It's a pain contacting home and waiting for their check to arrive. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for what they do for me, but I'm just trying to make it easier for all of us.
Several of my friends have credit cards, so the problem of immediate cash doesn't exist for them. I talk to my parents about getting a credit card for me. I could be added to their card, but my dad won't do it. He said that I might overuse the card or someone might steal the number and go "haywire." I'm a very conscientious young lady, and I would never abuse the card. What can I do to prove that to my dad? — Annette, Iowa City, Iowa
ANNETTE: Instead of a credit card, why not find out if dad will allow you to have a debit card? But instead of borrowing money — some credit cards allow holders to charge up to $10,000, or even more — a debit card will let you spend money put into a separate account. For example, if $500 is placed in the account, you could use the card until the $500 is exhausted. As long as there is money in the account, you can use the card up to the amount available. It's like writing a check without the bother. Today there are other options like PayPal or Venmo, but your folks will probably like the debit card suggestion better. Check it out!
HE GOT WHAT HE WANTED
DR. WALLACE: I'm an 18-year-old female, and I'm really confused. I've only been involved in three relationships with guys. In each case, I loved the guy very much, and in each case, the guy and I shared sexual experiences. In each case, the guy ended up breaking up with me. All three times, I became deeply depressed, and the thought of committing suicide crossed my mind, at least fleetingly. I know that you frown upon premarital sex, but you must admit that sex is the ultimate expression of love.
Why then, did these guys break off our relationship? I gave them what they wanted — my love. — Anonymous and Frustrated, via email
ANONYMOUS: Often, lust is mistaken for love. In most cases, a sexual encounter involving teens is the final event before a breakup. Instead of making the relationship more stable, sexual activity actually becomes a negative force. In the majority of cases, it's the guy who wants the split. He has gotten everything he wanted in the relationship and has decided to move on.
You can't change what has happened in your sexual past, but you are in total control of what can happen in the future. It's your decision! Also, whenever a teen has even "fleeting" thoughts on suicide, it's a bold red flag. Seek counsel and guidance immediately. Contact a trusted adult, or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255. Even in you feel you're OK, make the call. You will receive nonjudgmental assistance and a well-trained person who can speak openly with you to provide you resources and guidance.
WASH HANDS IN "PLAIN OLD SOAP"
DR. WALLACE: I read that one of the best ways to avoid catching the flu or a cold is to wash your hands frequently because the hands pick up a lot of germs. Since flu season will be coming again soon and I don't like flu shots, I want to take precautions not to get flu germs. Is it better to use normal hand soap or spend a little more and get the anti-bacterial kind? — Miss Hygiene, via mail
MISS HYGIENE: Save your money and buy the normal kind. The National Hygiene Foundation reported that the best way to wash your hands is to use "plain old soap and warm water," washing thoroughly for a full 30 seconds. The key is both frequent washing of the hands and doing so for a full 30 seconds. Five to 10 seconds does not always give you the desired effect.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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