DR. WALLACE: One of my very best friends has developed a new habit that started out moderately enjoyable but has turned into a nightmare for me! We are both female college students, and the downtown area of our college town is filled with restaurants, stores and shops of all kinds.

It started with her asking me to go out to lunch and shopping on a Saturday together. After we ate a brief lunch, she made a beeline directly to a major row of antique shops. It was fine for me to look through several of them with her for an hour or two, but then I got bored, but she wanted to continue on, and I didn't say anything. We ended up spending four hours in those crazy stores, and she actually went on a bit of a shopping frenzy!

She didn't spend a lot of money overall, but she bought a lot of things that she wanted to put in her dorm room. A couple of them seemed fine to me, but the rest seemed like junk! I was surprised that she bought so many items, as it seemed to me like a lot of clutter.

There are literally dozens and dozens of these antique shops, and she constantly makes these hints about going out to lunch or going downtown to get a bite to eat, but I know that's simply code for antique shopping! I'm beyond bored with this and don't want to spend any of my hard-earned money on any of that stuff. How can I get out of this diplomatically? I would be more than happy to meet her for lunch or some snacks at happy hour, but I don't want to be dragged through these stores for hours on end. — She Can't Pass Up an Antique Store, via email

SHE CAN'T PASS UP AN ANTIQUE STORE: Honesty is always the best policy in a situation like this. Mention to her that it's obvious that she enjoys these stores much more than you do and that you're not planning to buy anything specific in them 99% of the time.

Let her know that she's a good friend and that you enjoy socializing with her but that you'd like to limit the shopping at antique stores in the future to times when you may be looking for a specific item as a gift or for another purpose. Let her know that when those occasions do occasionally come up, it's great to know you have such a good friend to help you! Then ask her if there are any music shows, movies or museums that she'd like to see with you. She'll get the hint that you do wish to spend time with her, just not for several hours in antique stores!

MY FRIENDS KEEP SEEKING THE PERFECT "OPPOSITE" FOR ME

DR. WALLACE: I'm a female and I have friends that are constantly trying to introduce me to new guys. I've been in and out of a few relationships, but they all know I'm now back on the market and available.

My best girlfriends all have these theories and ideas, and they try to construct ways to come up with introductions to all their friends. Since I'm the one not in a relationship right now, everybody seems to be focused on me. This one girl who is the leader is on this "opposites attract" kick! She's convinced that the best relationships are made up of people who have opposite personalities yet mesh well together.

They've set me up on three first dates with guys that are theoretically my opposite, and all three of them didn't mesh with me, nor me with them, well at all! I don't know where this old saying comes from, but it certainly is not working when it comes to me. They keep telling me they haven't made the right introduction yet but will get the correct "opposite" for me soon. I personally feel they're wasting their time. Is it really true that the best relationships are made up of people who have mainly opposite personalities? — It's Not Working So Far, via email

IT'S NOT WORKING SO FAR: When it comes to interpersonal relationships, you can throw all the rulebooks, colloquialisms and old-time sayings out the window! Every person is a very unique and complex human being, and everyone that you meet as a potential date is similar in this exact regard.

We don't know in advance why certain people are attracted to each other or why certain relationships work out better with some personality types than others. But your friends taking an old-time saying and feeling that it has so much merit — I feel this is definitely misguided. Yes, there are examples of people who have opposite personalities and have had long and successful lives in relationships together. But there are many more relationships that have occurred with people who have much more in common and much more similar styles.

You need to go with what's best for you, as no one knows you, your heart and your desires better than you do. Tell your friends that you'll consider future introductions if, and only if, they are presented to you randomly from a wide variety of personality types and not simply just an "opposite" they are looking for like a needle in a haystack!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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