DR. WALLACE: I've been out on a series of dates recently, and to put it briefly and politely, none of them have gone well. I'm a teenage girl, and I went into these dates with moderate expectations, but not one of them turned out well enough to warrant a second date.

I'm concerned that perhaps I'm making the wrong impression, since I get nervous and sometimes ramble on about things a bit too much. I also have a habit of going off on a tangent.

I've noticed that the guys don't like it much when I talk continuously for 40 or 45 seconds, as I sometimes notice their eyes are glazing over. Any tips you may have about making a good first impression on a date would be much appreciated. I'm not looking for a magical relationship; I'm just looking to get to a second and third date with a few people so I can get a feel for who might be compatible for me and who might not. I feel like I haven't accomplished that at all with my last handful of dates. — First Impressions Didn't Lead to Second Dates, via email

FIRST IMPRESSIONS DIDN'T LEAD TO SECOND DATES: I believe it's human nature for people of all ages to feel nervous or apprehensive when meeting someone for a first date. Some of us talk a lot out of nervousness or to try to fill the empty airspace between us and another individual.

My suggestion would be to plan your conversations as much as possible. I don't mean to have a specific script or anything like that, but have two or three good topics that you'd like to bring up and discuss with your date. Notice I said discuss, not talk to your date about. Try to make these topics neutral, easy to understand and something that the other person will make comments on in a back-and-forth with you.

Ask open-ended questions whenever possible and also ask questions about whether someone has seen a particular movie or enjoyed a particular piece of music or recent event and so forth. If you have three good subjects to bring up that can easily lead to conversations with both of you speaking back-and-forth in an alternating fashion, you'll be on your way to not only relaxing and feeling more comfortable but actually getting to know the other person better as well. And along the way, that person will get to know you and feel comfortable speaking with you.

Once you get through a first date in this fashion, I feel your odds of accepting a second date, and receiving that offer, will both go up dramatically.

I'VE RECEIVED A LOT OF CONFLICTING ADVICE

DR. WALLACE: I'm entering my senior year in high school, and I'm trying to figure out both which college I would like to attend, or if I want to go to college at all. I'm also considering trade schools, as I hear there are some really good, high-paying jobs available via that route.

I've spoken to both of my parents, several of my relatives, a few of the teachers I know well, and even some friends of mine. Everyone seems to have a good opinion, and what I find interesting is that they are all very sure that they are correct with their advice. Unfortunately for me, sometimes the advice I'm receiving is in direct conflict and it seems to be split almost evenly down the middle. There's no trend at all with all this advice!

My question would be: Whose guidance and advice should I trust the most? I use the word most because I trust them all, but I need to lean into those that make the most sense for me and my future. I do have some time to make this decision, but I don't want to let it go late into my senior year before I figure out what I'm going to do next. — Planning My Future, via email

PLANNING MY FUTURE: I think your experience is typical of what many teenagers your age go through regularly as they enter into their senior year of high school with their future life looming nearby on the horizon. Think for a minute about the advice everyone gave you, and try to evaluate those that were the least opinionated and the most practical. Go back to those individuals and reengage them with a second conversation. This time, ask them why they made the recommendations they did, especially in the context of your particular personality, background, skill set, aptitude and future dreams.

Getting in-depth advice in this manner from those individuals may be particularly valuable to you. As you hear their answers and as you engage in the discussion, I trust a lot of your own feelings will bubble to the surface as well. You may develop a gut feeling as to what is best for you at least at this point as the school year begins.

Continue this process as the weeks and months roll by and stay flexible. What you're thinking now may evolve over the course of your senior year in high school. Continue speaking to teachers, counselors, friends, and other individuals you haven't spoken with previously, and instead of getting their opinion, ask them to advise you specifically based upon your personality and skill sets, not on what they would do or what they think would pay the most.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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