DR. WALLACE: My older brother is dating a girl who is now his regular girlfriend. She seems like a nice enough person, but unfortunately, on three occasions I have apparently said the wrong thing in front of her, and when I did, she literally turned into a human puddle. By this I mean she broke out crying and started sobbing for several minutes on an ongoing basis. Each time this happened, my brother stared at me with his dagger eyes like I did something really wrong. But I had no idea that what I was saying would cause any emotional sensitivity in her.

For example, one time she was at our house and was asking what our dog's name was, and I not only told her the dog's name but asked her if she liked dogs and if she had any pets. This is one of the times that she started crying uncontrollably, as I found out later her family dog of 13 years had just passed away the previous week. The other situations were similar to this but about different subjects.

I feel terrible, but I'm not the bad person here. I'm simply my older brother's younger sister who normally gets along with everyone. What can I do about his new girlfriend, given her emotional fragility and the fact that she can cry at the drop of a hat like a professional actress? — His Girlfriend Is a Human Puddle, via email

HIS GIRLFRIEND IS A HUMAN PUDDLE: I feel for you, because you're quite correct in that you did nothing wrong and certainly meant no harm. The best thing you can do, and you likely already did this, would be to apologize for saying something that inadvertently triggered a sensitive memory for her.

You mentioned your brother gave you grim stares, but you didn't mention how she reacted to you. Whenever you get the chance, engage her in a gentle conversation and tell her that you would never intentionally bring up any subject that is sensitive to her. I think addressing this issue head-on is better than constantly avoiding her or having to deal with your brother's mean stares. And speaking of your brother, speak to him when she's not present, and ask him to review any and all topics he can think of that may not be suitable for her, and tell him you'll be sure to avoid those topics.

Nobody likes to make another person upset, especially accidentally, so although you didn't technically need to apologize to her, attempting to do so presents a good-faith demonstration of your concern for her. After speaking with both of them, the onus is on them more than you to avoid future meltdowns.

SHE HAS THIS HABIT OF JUST SHOWING UP AT OUR DOOR!

DR. WALLACE: I'm a high school student and a girl who gets along with just about everybody. I met a new friend this summer, as her family moved into our area, and a friend of hers introduced her to me. She and I got along great, but she had this interesting habit of just showing up at our house sometimes during the summer and ringing the doorbell to see what I was up to.

Most of the time it was all right, and I could either spend some time with her or explain to her what I was doing and send her on her way. But now I'm concerned that with the school year starting, her showing up unannounced at our chaotic house is not going to be a good idea. How can I get this point across to her without making her feel uncomfortable, unwelcome or like she's pestering me? — New Friend Sometimes Just Shows Up, via email

NEW FRIEND SOMETIMES JUST SHOWS UP: I feel the best way to address this issue is to seek her out during the first few days of the new school year, and be sure to talk to her openly and directly on your school's campus. Let her know that your family has a very busy schedule once the school year starts and that you'd still like to spend some social time with her but that it will definitely need to be planned in advance, rather than impromptu, like it was during the summer.

You can go on to explain that you'll have certain hours and days when you are expected to study at home and take care of other responsibilities, but you would absolutely like to plan some time with her as long as the two of you can schedule things in advance at mutually beneficial times.

Since she's new to your area, when you see her at your high school, be sure to introduce her to several of your other friends, as she will likely feel better when she gets to know more people at your school, and this will give her a greater pool of people to interact with such that she does not need to track you down as often this fall as she did previously in the summer. This will keep the friendship fresh and comfortable for both of you.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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