DR. WALLACE: I love to plan ahead, and I also enjoy parties and dressing up! I've been looking forward to attending Comic-Con someday, but it's too far away from where I live for now.

So, my current attention is on Halloween! We are already in late August, so Halloween is only a few months away, and I'd like to prepare a very special Halloween costume.

Do you have any ideas that I might not have thought of? — Dress-Up Girl, via email

DRESS UP GIRL: I suggest you come up with something that's totally unique and not something that's going to be worn by many other girls this Halloween. This means you should not follow any trends in current popular movies, books, magazines or social media.

Instead, I suggest that you think carefully about what your future goals, dreams and aspirations are. Think about your perfect life five, 10 or 15 years from now and visualize where you are and what you'll be doing at that time.

Then craft an outfit for a theme that will fit your desired reality. Be very detailed regarding your costume as the additional small details will definitely make your costume unique in comparison with the many others that will be out there on Halloween night.

Since you have a few months' time between now and then, hopefully you'll be able to get your creative juices flowing and be able to craft an outfit that will not only be unique but will provide you with a visual reinforcement of your life goals.

I OFTEN BLAME THINGS ON MYSELF REGARDLESS OF THEIR SOURCE

DR. WALLACE: Why do I usually blame myself for every single thing that happens in my life, even the ones that are out of my control?

It seems that no matter what, I take the blame (internally) rather than blaming people who obviously let me down in some form or another,

I've noticed this pattern repeating itself over and over, especially recently. Some of these things involve interpersonal relationships of mine, but some others actually involve strangers or near- strangers. What's up with me? — I Blame Myself, via email

I BLAME MYSELF: Some individuals would rather apply a blanket of self-blame when things don't go well in their lives, rather than taking the time to study the cause and effect of why certain things break down or don't go well for a specific reason.

Sadly, self-blame and self-criticism are quite often learned behaviors. A critical parent, teacher, friend, family member or acquaintance may have doled out blame in your direction and could be the original source of your own cycle of self-blame. Children and young teenagers are often vulnerable to blame and criticism because a sense of self is not often fully established at that age.

Therefore, it's often easier mentally to apply a "blanket of blame" and then move on as if nothing else happened or mattered. But I feel taking the time to analyze a situation in depth can pay future dividends even if the process in the moment is uncomfortable.

A key to breaking this cycle is to become aware of your tendency to apply self-blame before that blame arrives and takes root. Be aware of it in advance and replace the reflexive absorption of blame with a curiosity to learn the full story of the situation. Instead of slipping into self-condemnation, take the time to pause, reflect and dissect what actually happened. Once you do this a few times, not only will a healthy and useful new habit form, but the reality of various situations will be both evident and cathartic to you.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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