DR. WALLACE: I just finished my freshman year of high school, and up until the last week of the school year, I thought that my first year of high school had been going really well for me. I made so many more friends than I imagined I would make and finally felt like I was part of a group that I belonged in. I must have been naive, however, because everything blew up in my face right before the school year finished.

The topic of religion somehow came up in conversation with my friend group on the last day of school, and I happened to mention that I am a Christian. I noticed that as soon as I stated that I am a Christian, everyone seemed to be a little bit quiet and awkward in response. I didn't think much of it at the moment because no one said anything rude to my face about it or commented on it directly, but I realize now that everything changed that day. My friends and I had pledged to hang out almost every day together over the summer. We had things planned like beach days, movie days, trips to the local fair, etc. All of us were extremely excited to continue to get together over the summer and grow our friendships outside of school.

After the day that I mentioned to my friend group that I am a Christian, however, none of my friends texted me. In fact, all of them stonewalled me and they even went so far as to remove me from the group text thread that we had created for our friend group. School has been out for over a month now, and none of those friends have made any effort to see me in person or invite me to any get-together. At this point, I can draw no other conclusion than that I've been ghosted by the entirety of that group of friends.

I'm quite perplexed by this situation and feel devastated that I have been cast out for simply mentioning the faith I have in Christ. I keep replaying everything in my mind to try to determine what else could have possibly caused my friends to abandon me, but nothing else comes to mind. My loneliness is tempting me to lie to my friends and tell them that I don't take my Christian faith seriously so that they will continue to include me and invite me places, but I know that I could never forsake my values in that way. What can I do about this, if anything? — Feeling outcast, via email

FEELING OUTCAST: Nobody should be discriminated against because of their religious beliefs, no matter what faith they have and what religion they follow. However, when it comes to friends and friendships, the cold truth is that friendship with any other human being is optional. Anyone can opt out of a friendship at any time for any reason.

Therefore, I suggest that you send out a group text (or individual texts, if you prefer) to every single person on the group text. Simply tell them that you're happy enough to remain friends — or to go your own way, if they prefer that — but that you'll always be there for each of them in a nonjudgmental way should they ever need your help in any way or a friend to lean upon.

That's about all you can do. You can't force them to continue to accept you, but you can stay true to your beliefs and your character, and you'll soon feel better if you continue to do so. And as for friends, I suggest that you seek out others who share your faith. They are out there, and you'll begin new friendships soon enough if you make the effort to truly network and seek out new friends.

And don't be surprised if, someday, somewhere down the road, one or more of what will be your former friends on that text group actually seek you for advice or simply to talk to. If and when that happens, or even if it does not, you'll feel good that you did not compromise your values simply in an effort to try to fit in with a particular group of people.

HELP, SHE'S DATING A TOTAL JERK!

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 years old and so is my best girlfriend. We've always been really close and done so many things together, but two weeks ago she started dating a 17-year-old boy who is a total jerk in so many ways. I've tried to tell my friend about all of the faults this guy has, but she won't listen to me at all.

Now my friend and I have less time to spend with each other because she is spending so much time with this jerk. I've done everything I can think of to convince her to see the light about this guy but it's like she has blinders on and doesn't realize that she'll soon come crying back to my shoulder to tell me I was right all along. Until that happens, what can I do to shorten the cycle of her doomed relationship? — Trying to be a good friend, via email

TRYING TO BE A GOOD FRIEND: Sometimes being a good friend requires knowing when to step back and not push too hard. Unless you have solid evidence of criminal or immoral behavior this boy has committed, I advise you to say no more to your friend about him other than you'll be there for her at any time she may need you.

I know you don't like this boy, or his personality, and you've already made that known to your friend. Keep your distance, and when the two of you girls do have social time together, do the fun things you usually enjoy spending your time on. Don't use your get-togethers as an opportunity for you to continue railing on her to break up with him. Simply remain a good friend to her, have some fun and be ready to help her at any time she needs it. One thing you can do is to ask around your school and community to learn more about this guy to see if your hunches are correct or not. It could just be that you don't like his style. However, if you discover at some point he has done something wrong, only then should you bring that information directly to her attention.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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