DR. WALLACE: My mother and father divorced when I was six; I am now 13. My parents' marriage ended because my mother decided she wants to live with her boss. I stayed with my dad and we both moved in with his parents — my grandparents. They have been wonderful to me. My dad was busy working so my grandparents actually became like a "mom" and "dad."
Two years ago, my father was killed coming home late from work. A drunk driver hit my father's car head on. He died instantly. The drunk driver died a day later.
After my parents' divorce, I still had contact with my mother. We saw each other three or four times a month. After my father died, I saw her about twice a week.
A month ago, my mom and her husband were divorced. Then last week my mother came over to our house and told "mom and dad" that she would like me to live with her again. After she left, my grandparents told me that, if I decide to live with my birthmother, they would understand. If that was my decision, they wouldn't try to encourage me to stay with them. They also said that I was her daughter no matter what and I should decide what I think is best for me. I'm really confused and don't know what I should do. Can you help me decide? — Unsure, via email
UNSURE: A decision has been thrust upon you that requires wisdom far beyond your years to make, yet no one can make it for you. Fortunately, whomever you choose not to live with will still love you and be part of your life — so you can't make the "wrong" choice. Take your time, think things over and make a decision. In either case, be sure to keep in close touch and contact with each of these three important adults in your life.
HE DID SMOKE POT OCCASIONALLY
DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend was planning to join the army, but was shocked when he flunked the physical examination because the army said they found traces of marijuana in his system. He did smoke pot occasionally, but he was clean for over two weeks before the physical.
He did drink two days before he left, thinking he was going to be Army-bound. That's because we had a huge party for him and by the end of that party he was really smashed! Yet he told me that nothing was said at all about his use of alcohol at all. Is he telling lies? What is going on here? — Robin, Reno, Nv.
Robin: Your boyfriend should have been marijuana free for at least a month, if not longer, before taking the physical. That's how long this drug stays in the system. The prime chemical in marijuana, THC, hides in fatty tissue. This means that THC can be stored for long periods of time in the body's high-fat organs, such as the lungs, brain and reproductive organs. Alcohol, because it is water soluble, leaves the body within hours.
This would be an excellent time for your boyfriend to stop using marijuana completely and get retested at a later date.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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