DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and my girlfriend and I have been having sex for about four months. I love her very much. This is my first sexual activity. Before we became sexually active, my complexion was clear, but in the past several months I have been having pimples on my forehead. My buddy says that having sex is the cause of my complexion problems. He said the same thing happened to him when he started having sex.
Does this happen to all guys were sexually active for the first time, or just us unlucky ones? How long will it take for my face to clear up? — Anonymous, St. Charles, Ill.
ANONYMOUS: Sexually active teens bring a myriad of problems into their lives, but pimples are one of them. There is absolutely no evidence that sex causes complexion problems, says Dr. Jeffrey Lauber, a Southern California dermatologist. His advice is to see a dermatologist, who can help you clear up your complexion.
My advice is to avoid real trouble — unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease, becoming emotionally shipwrecked — stop having sex. "LOVE" is a word that comes with maturity. Without that maturity, one or both of you are just using the other person.
GIRLS LIKE EDGY GUYS
DR. WALLACE: I met Rodrigo at a country music concert and started going out with him soon after the event. Rodrigo is a cool cat. Yes, he's into alcohol and drugs and yes, he has a criminal record, but he is full of life and an exciting guy. He wears cowboy boots, cowboy shirts and big hat. He calls me "little lady" and "little buckaroo" a lot. He's very confident.
A month ago, I came home from a date with him and had alcohol on my breath. My dad blew his mind and he and Rodrigo got into a huge argument. Unfortunately Rodrigo used some nasty adjectives during their shouting match. If it had not been for my mother, who intervened, I'm sure he and my dad would have gotten into a physical fight.
I'm 17 and have been out with quite a few guys, but none of them turned me on more than Rodrigo. I'm on restriction right now and have promised my parents that I will never go out with him again, and I will keep that promise.
My question is this: Why do so many girls like to go out with wild "edgy" guys? All of us girls know these guys are double trouble, but we still gravitate to them. Already I miss Rodrigo and it breaks my heart knowing that he will never call me "his little buckaroo" again. — Missy, Houston, Tx.
MISSY: There aren't a lot of girls who get a thrill from going out with edgy, drug-using guys, but there are certainly some. Perhaps it's the excitement of self-destruction. Some women even manage to "fall in love" with murderers on death row, for example.
Most females go through an "I like losers," "I like tough guys," "I like dangerous guys" faze and then eventually grow out of it — usually after one or several traumatic experiences with such guys. Understand that you miss Rodrigo even though he's not truly suitable for you. He seems to promise romance and adventure — everything your life lacks. In reality, that promise is as hollow as an empty beer keg. He and his kind will only bring you misery. I hope you saw that in his absurd confrontation with your father.
Your broken heart will mend soon enough and you will meet a nicer, more easy-going guy who has greater ambitions than drinking, drugs, and arguing with elders.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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