DR. WALLACE: I know this is really a stupid question, but it's important to me. My boyfriend is a pothead. He smokes marijuana almost every day. That is the only bad habit he has. We planned to get married eventually, but the wedding will take place sooner than I thought. I just found out I'm pregnant! I'm 20 and work as a food server and my boyfriend works for his father in the family restaurant business.

Is there any way that my baby could possibly by born with a defect because of my boyfriend's use of marijuana? Please answer my question. — Nameless, Elkhart, Ind.

NAMELESS: Pot and pregnancy definitely should not mix, but the drug poses the greatest threat to a fetus when the mother-to-be smokes it - or inhales it as secondhand smoke. For that reason, be sure your boyfriend never smokes around you.

"THC, the active ingredient in marijuana, can be passed from mother to infant through breast feeding," according to the Alcohol and Drug Information Clearinghouse (prevlink.org). "This chemical is more concentrated in the mother's breast milk than it is in her blood, and use of marijuana by breast-feeding mothers has been linked to motor development problems in newborns."

Fortunately, a male's use of marijuana is not linked specifically to birth defects. Your boyfriend needs to start making smarter decisions about his life, now that he faces the awesome responsibility of fatherhood. Marijuana and children are a bad mix.

This is hardly a "stupid" question. I'm glad you had the courage to ask it. A well-informed mother-to-be will almost certainly become a superb mother!

SNACKS FOR BABY SITTERS

DR. WALLACE: I'm writing in response to the letter from a girl in Ames, Iowa, concerning baby sitters and snacks for them.

I, too, started out babysitting in my early teens and when I became a parent, I utilized the services of a baby sitter. Therefore, I am able to view the problem from both sides.

All of the parents who asked me to baby-sit would tell me where the snacks were as they were leaving, and some even bought special treats for me.

Years later when I needed a baby sitter for my daughter, I would make sure there were "goodies" in the house for her and the baby sitter. (I can remember how boring it was once the children went to bed!)

Sometimes my daughter and I would make a special trip to the store so she could pick out the "special treats" for her and the baby sitter. (It made the idea of being left with a sitter for a few hours fun and something to look forward to.)

I was fortunate to have very reliable and responsible baby sitters who my daughter enjoyed being with — and I would do everything in my power to keep it that way! I figured if we could afford to go out, we could certainly afford a few extra treats for the sitter and our daughter.

It's too bad that all parents can't see that a baby sitter completes their plans for an evening out; without them there would be no evening out! The parents are getting a "special treat," so why shouldn't the children and the sitter? — Mom, Monmouth, Ill.

MOM: Your letter will encourage many parents of young children to follow your fine example.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.