My Mother Is Truly Out of Control

By Dr. Robert Wallace

July 14, 2025 4 min read

DR. WALLACE: My parents have been very supportive of me, my high school career and the activities I participate in.

But recently, my mother has started drinking in a manner I feel is too much. She's always been the type who enjoys a drink, but this past Fourth of July weekend, she spent most of it completely drunk.

I've tried to talk to my father carefully about this, but it doesn't seem to go anywhere. Do you think my mother needs to go to a rehab center soon? — My Mother is Out of Control, via email

MY MOTHER IS OUT OF CONTROL: Your father and other relatives and trusted adult friends should speak directly to your mother, and they might want to consider an intervention if feasible.

Unfortunately, a lot of this depends upon your mother and her own desire to get herself well. There are indeed rehabilitation centers, local branches of Alcoholics Anonymous and several other great individuals who would step up to help your mother if she were amenable to the process.

Encourage your father to reach out to others to help him to help your mother before her situation becomes even worse.

MY MOM AND I HAD AN INTERESTING MOMENT

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 17-year-old girl and I get along with my mom pretty well, but I will admit there are times when I get frustrated by all of her rules.

She's a single parent, and at times, the different rules she places on me seem a bit suffocating.

The other day I was complaining about one of her rules, and I happened to make a comment saying that I'll bet she didn't have to go through the same rules when she was a teenager. She got really silent and didn't answer me. I then noticed she was upset and a bit teary-eyed.

I didn't know what to say, so I simply walked over to her and gave her a big hug. I told her that no matter what her own teenage years were like, I know that she was a good person back then because she's such a fantastic mother now.

I've also noticed that following this incident, my mother and I have been closer than ever before. She has also loosened her rules a tiny bit. It's enough for me to notice and appreciate. I didn't make those comments in any way to try to manipulate her, I just said what I felt in the moment. Now I'm worried that she might think I was trying to manipulate her in some way. Do you think I should bring this up and tell her that I was just speaking from the heart that day and that I had no ulterior motive at that time? — Things Have Changed, via email

THINGS HAVE CHANGED: No, I don't feel it's necessary or even appropriate at this point. It's likely better not to bring it up at all, especially from the position of feeling the need to defend your comments that day.

I say this because your mother likely received those comments just the way that I did, meaning that it was instantly apparent that they were made from the heart spontaneously and lovingly.

Your situation here, and that particular incident provide a great example of why communication is the key between parents and teenagers. This is also true for all human beings of all ages, as the more we know, understand, communicate, and respect each other, the better.

You did a good job that day communicating "off the cuff" to your mother, so learn from that lesson. Always speak up, especially when you have good things to say about others, and I trust you'll build friendships, respect and two-way bridges between yourself and many other interesting people you're going to meet during your life's journey.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Michael Discenza at Unsplash

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