DR. WALLACE: I'm a woman who is nearly 21 and I consider myself a vivacious college student. I'm proactive in my life, and I don't sit around waiting to be asked out or invited to attend parties or social events.

I prefer to take things into my own hands, so I often ask guys out on dates directly. Sometimes they're quite surprised, but after we talk for a few minutes, I would say that at least 50% accept my offer.

This is usually fine, and most of the time when I offer to pay for the first date, the guy will sheepishly try to push back on me and pay, but I remain firm and pay for the first date myself!

My method has worked great for a long time until it failed me big-time last week. A guy I've really had my eye on for quite some time presented me with an opportunity to spring my date idea on him. He didn't accept my offer at first, but after I asked him again a few days later, he finally relented and accepted.

We both like the same type of music and so I had arranged to buy some concert tickets for this event. However, he insisted on buying both tickets, and when I laughingly told him that wasn't necessary, he became a little agitated because I think he believed I was kidding him at first, even though I was quite serious. Anyhow, to make a long story short, because I would not let him buy the tickets, he canceled our date! Do you think I'm being too inflexible with my mindset here? Could I have handled the situation better? — A Proactive Woman, via email

A PROACTIVE WOMAN: Yes, you likely could have handled it a bit better, but don't feel too bad as I think a lot of us would agree that there are many situations we've looked back on in life and realized we could've handled better.

In your case, two things came to mind that you could have considered in the moment. If you really wanted to pay for the date yourself, and were inflexible on that issue, you could've mentioned that if the first date was successful for both of you, that you would let him pay for the second date and select a different musical group to go see together.

The other alternative reply I would have suggested would have been to offer to "go Dutch" on the first date. This means that you would each pay for your own ticket (and food if you ate there or anywhere afterward.) This would have given you an out to potentially appease him. But it's unknowable now as to what his reaction would have been to either of these alternatives, but at least you now have these ideas to put up your sleeve for your future dating ventures!

CAN THEY FORCE HIM TO LEAVE?

DR. WALLACE: My older brother is 17 and he's getting in a lot of trouble with my parents lately. I'm his sister and I'm 15, plus our family has two 11-year-old twins. There are four siblings overall.

I try to stay out of things when my parents and my brother are arguing, but sometimes I can't help but overhear them yelling at each other. My father has even threatened to kick my brother out of the house entirely. He just turned 17 in June, so is it legal for them to put him out on the street? — A Nervous Little Sister, via email

A NERVOUS LITTLE SISTER: Your parents can't legally put him out now, but the day he turns 18 they sure can. Parents are responsible for the welfare and health of their children until they reach their 18th birthday.

It's too bad that there is so much strife in your family and the friction between your older brother and your parents has reached a boiling point.

There are two things that you can potentially do that might help the situation at least a little bit. First of all, at a time when your brother is not around, let both of your parents know how much the arguing and yelling disturbs you. Ask them to please try to be more civilized in their dealings with your older brother, even if they are correct with some of their positions. Second, see if you can speak to a trusted adult that knows your family very well. This might be a family friend, aunt, uncle or grandparent. Without saying too much specifically, just mention that there is a lot of tension between your older brother and your parents, and you feel other adults might be able to talk to everyone involved to try to find a more peaceful resolution for the next year at least.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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