DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and in college. I was a very good athlete in high school, but I suffered a bad injury late in my senior season that has now prematurely ended my playing career. I had planned to play college sports, but now that I'm over the shock of no longer being able to play at a high level, I've decided to coach so I'm dedicating my college academic career to set me up to do just that.

I know from reading your column that you were a varsity basketball coach back in your day. My question for you is, did you get a bigger thrill winning a big game as a coach, or seeing your players succeed whether or not your team won league championships, for example.

Due to my competitive nature, I already know that I want my teams to win, but I've already done a bit of coaching of kids at the sixth-grade level, and I'll admit I get a kick out of helping those young players to improve. — My Playing Career Is Over, via email

MY PLAYING CAREER IS OVER: They are both great and quite satisfying. I'll readily admit that I have a competitive streak just as most coaches do, but for me there is a deeper and more long-lasting satisfaction in seeing your players truly develop to the best of their ability and to succeed at their sports endeavors and in their personal lives.

I was fortunate enough to have one particular basketball player who not only succeeded quite well at the high school level, but since he as a multi-sport star, he went on to eventually play major league baseball and ultimately became both a major league coach and eventually major league manager of two different MLB teams during his managerial career. He of course paid his dues by coaching in the minor leagues for many years before he rose to the major league level. He had two great milestones as well: he hit a home run in his first major league at bat in Fenway Park, and he was the American League manager of the year for the Chicago White Sox in 1993.

I am of course quite proud of him as an athlete, coach and great human being, and now I'm rooting for you to succeed in your upcoming coaching career as well. I trust that if you have the passion to stick with it, that over time some excellent opportunities for advancement will come your way and you'll soon find yourself doing rewarding work helping young players develop into being the best athletes and people they can be.

MY FRIEND TELLS TALL TALES

DR. WALLACE: What can I do about a friend of mine who tells tall tales and tries to show off constantly by "stretching the truth"? I like her a lot and have been her good friend for over three years, but this summer she has really seemed to change.

We are both going to be juniors in high school this fall and we're about to each turn 17 over the next few months. And for some reason, especially when we meet interesting boys, she starts telling them stories that I happen to know are false. Some of her tales are harmless but others are more important and if a guy were to check one of her "over the top" stories out, he would easily discover her deception and lack of truthfulness.

I don't want to see her embarrassed later and more importantly to me, I don't want anyone, especially guys I might be interested in dating, to assume that I also tell bold lies regularly, because I do not do this. How can I get her to stop this nonsense? — Worried About My Friend, via email

WORRIED ABOUT MY FRIEND: Speak openly and honestly with her at a time when the two of you are alone and nobody can overhear your conversation. Start by letting her know that she has many wonderful qualities, and that she has no need to tell excessively false stories in order to draw attention.

Explain calmly that this will not reflect well on her over the long run if she persists in going down this path. Tell her that you are always very proud of her except for the times when she knowingly tells false stories to try to impress someone else.

Go a step further and ask her to help you with some small shortcoming you might have within your own personality. For example, if you might be the type of person who is always 10 minutes late to every meeting, you could ask her to help you with your situation and you could help her with hers. The idea would be that the two of you will do your best to help each other and make personal improvements as well.

This might give you an easier way to bring up the topic as opposed to simply scolding her and asking her to make changes on her end.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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