DR. WALLACE: I'm 21, and my girlfriend is 19. We live together and both have good jobs. We get along great, but there's one issue that she hounds me over constantly — her concern about my beer drinking! Yes, I'll quaff a beer or two after work most days, but that's it. And on the weekends when my guy friends come over, I rarely drink more than three beers a day, and that's over several hours at a barbecue, for example.

My girlfriend does not drink alcohol at all, and she does not want to even try it. Her father passed away, but before he did, he was apparently an alcoholic, so this is always on her mind when it comes to drinking. And my drinking is limited to only beer! I don't do shots. I don't drink whiskey or wine or anything else at all, just a few harmless cold beers after a hard day at work. I admit that I do drink a bit more in the summertime when it's hot, but I'm never out of control when it comes to my drinking. You could say that I control my beer consumption, and it does not control me in the least bit. I can literally take it or leave it at any time, but I really like a few on a hot summer day. Can you please tell my girlfriend that I'm not in the same class of drinker as her father was? — Under control, via email

UNDER CONTROL: I will not tell her any such thing. It's disrespectful for you to compare yourself to her deceased father, especially when it comes to alcohol. And as for you, it could well be that you're "in control" for now, but that definitely does not mean that you'll automatically stay under control your whole life by any means.

I've received literally thousands of letters over the decades that told me tales of woe whereby a bit of "mild drinking" in one's teen years or early 20s morphed into a huge problem down the road. And I've also had letters tell me brutally awful stories that involved only beer. Many such letters expressed surprise that avoiding hard alcohol did not save them from trouble at all. In the end, alcohol is alcohol, and the particular method by which it is consumed matters much less than the volume and frequency of its consumption.

I advise that you respect your girlfriend and cut down your drinking dramatically. Seek to imbibe only on special occasions rather than making it a daily habit.

HE DID NOT SELL MY SEAT AFTER ALL

DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly two years, and to be honest with you, our relationship has run hot and cold over that time. There are days or even weeks when we get along tremendously well, but then there are times that inevitably follow in which one or the other of us gets pretty upset and there's a lot of friction. These friction stages typically last from a minimum of two or three days up to the longest one, which carried on for nearly 3 weeks.

However, we've always been able to come back to the center and get along well with each other at some point. But recently, something happened that has me worried and wondering about how secure our relationship truly is. I received a gift of concert tickets for a special event band I wanted to see that was coming to our town three weeks after my birthday. But two days before the concert date, I didn't feel well, and I told my boyfriend I wouldn't be able to go to the show due to my illness. He told me he understood and that he would sell my one ticket online and just go by himself using the other ticket because some of his guy friends would also be there and he would just plan to hang out with them before and after the show.

Well, I came to learn later that my boyfriend did not sell my seat online. He instead took another girl, who is indeed only one of his platonic friends, but what bothers me is that he did this behind my back. I don't feel that they are romantically involved together at all, so it's more the trust issue that deeply concerns me regarding what he did.

Do you feel I'm overreacting to this? In some ways I want to just continue along with our relationship moving forward, but a little voice in the back of my mind tells me this could indeed be a big deal. What do you think? — Missed the show, via email

MISSED THE SHOW: Trust, honesty and respect are three huge keys to any close interpersonal relationship. It appears your boyfriend came up short on all three of these foundational aspects in your present example regarding this concert.

Only you can decide if you wish to remain in the relationship, but I see red flags already based upon the recurring friction you mentioned. Add on top of that his deception in bringing his female friend to that concert behind your back and you've got the elements of a trend that does not appear to be headed in a good direction.

Carefully consider your present situation, but also take the time to visualize where you think the two of you would be in terms of trust and compatibility with him a few years from now if you remain in the relationship. You may or may not like what you might see in your future projections. If you end up wanting to make a change, it might be better to do so now rather than wait until the two of you are even more entangled than you presently are.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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