DR. WALLACE: My daughter was recently invited to a female classmate's birthday party by our friendly neighbors diagonally across the street. We know them well and we like all of the members of this local family.

The invitation specifically said "no gifts" on it and this puzzled my daughter and me quite a bit. Why in the world would someone elect to do this? My daughter feels that her classmate may feel bad if she does not bring even just a small token gift.

We have not spoken to any of the other families that will attend to see if they are actually planning to bring a gift or not.

We certainly don't want to be the only family that does not bring this lovely neighbor girl at least a small gift.

Should I have my child bring a gift just in case? I'm also friendly, but not overly close, with this girl's mother and I don't want to offend her or her family in any way. As I said, these are indeed very nice people. — Worried mother, via email

WORRIED MOTHER: Sometimes, parents wish to have their child to focus on the friendship and camaraderie of a social event like a birthday, rather than allowing their attention to be directed at material things like gifts.

Some parents also worry about competitiveness breaking out between attendees when the inevitable comparison of who gave which gift breaks out and dominates the ongoing conversations at the event.

Therefore, families such as this one see the attendance at the party as the actual "gift," and they wish to have the focus remain on the fun and friendship shared together. I say kudos to them and to each their own. Either style — gifts or no gifts — is fine in my book.

I would plan to have your daughter attend the event and focus on having a great time with the birthday girl to help her celebrate. Just in case, you can have a small gift wrapped at your home as a backup if you feel it would be necessary at some point. But make it something your own daughter would enjoy, since she's the one who will likely be unwrapping it!

THE AVERAGE PREGNANCY IS 9.2 MONTHS

DR. WALLACE: I live in the United States and have a Korean American friend who moved here about five years ago. She's a great girl. She goes to my school and I like her a lot.

Well, my friend's mother is now pregnant! My friend says that it is going to be 10 months until the baby arrives.

I always heard that pregnancy was nine months! Who's right about this? I did not want to correct her since this is her mom and her family's matter. But is she actually correct about this? — Friend of the family, via email

FRIEND OF THE FAMILY: Human pregnancy has an average of about 280 days, whether you are in America or anywhere else in the world. 280 days represents 40 weeks and actually equals 9.2 months.

So, the average term is slightly more than nine months and a bit less than ten months. So, in a sense, both of you are correct. The average is closer to nine months, but most babies arrive after nine full months, meaning partially into the tenth month. I suggest that you simply accept her viewpoint on the time frame she's using and wish her mother a successful pregnancy! It may be fun for you and your friend to start thinking about possible new names for your friend's new sibling.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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