TEENS: The teen years are a time to venture out into the world, to test your independence and to learn to make decisions without the help of your parents. Yes, it's a time to experiment, and experiments indeed involve trial and error — and this definitely includes making honest mistakes.

But some experiments are not worth it, especially those involving alcohol and drugs. It's not enough to be told, "Just say no." Teens quite often feel indestructible, and many rarely think of the long-term dangers of becoming addicted to substances. But getting high can have a stiff price.

Of the millions of men and women currently behind bars in the United States, roughly 80% are there, at least partly, because of drugs or alcohol. That's a staggering statistic.

Many either stole property to purchase drugs or alcohol, were high when they committed a crime or had a history of abuse and addiction. For many of the inmates, sadly, all three were the case.

Furthermore, many hundreds of thousands of these inmates would be law-abiding, working, taxpaying citizens and responsible parents if they had been able to live a sober life. Substance abuse led them to their criminal convictions.

The leading substance abuse crime in the United States is drunk driving, and alcohol is also more closely associated with violent crime than any other drug, followed by cocaine and heroin.

Teens, I know some of you will experiment with alcohol and drugs using the philosophy: "I'm going to try to see what it's like. I don't plan to get hooked."

However, just remember that many of those now behind bars had the same philosophy way back in time. Be wise. Stay drug and alcohol-free. Your future self will truly be glad that you did.

DON'T DATE YOUR FRIEND'S EX

DR. WALLACE: Lauren is my very best friend. She and her boyfriend of six weeks were dating, but they broke up about a week ago. He said to me that he broke up with her because she was "too possessive," but she actually told me she dumped him because she wanted her freedom to date other guys.

Well, a few days ago, this guy called me and asked me out! I was stunned, so I just mumbled that I'd think about it and hustled him off of the phone.

I didn't want to go behind my friend's back, so I talked to Laurie about it, and she said it was entirely my decision, but she would rather I didn't go out with him. She did say that if I decided to go out with him, she would support me.

Both of us girls are actually pretty lucky because we have a lot of other friends, so we have many opportunities to date often. I'm mildly interested in this guy, but I'm not overly attracted to him or hung up on him.

What should I do, and why — in your opinion? — Have Friend's Blessing, via email

HAVE FRIEND'S BLESSING: If you value your friendship with your best friend, my advice is not to go out with her ex-boyfriend. That's doubly true for a recent breakup, as her wound — and/or his — is still fresh.

You've also indicated that he's not a big deal to you, but she obviously is. It's a small but important gesture to support her emotionally by steering clear of him. As you've indicated, there will be many other guys for each of you to date in the future. Your friendship will strengthen via your support of her.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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