DR. WALLACE: Both of my parents are medical doctors working at the Mayo Clinic. They employ a full-time housekeeper who lives with us. The housekeeper cleans, does the laundry, cooks and does other jobs around the house. She also buys all the food at local grocery stores. She is a very good worker and a very nice person and I like her a lot.
My problem is that this lady doesn't clean or go into my room because my parents have told her that it is my responsibility to take care of my room. I don't think this is fair. I'm a straight A student, play sports and I'm involved in student government. I am also a Sunday school teacher for preschool children. As you can see, I'm a very busy teen. I'm not trying to get out of keeping my room tidy, it's just that it would be a lot easier for me and it would save much time if she would clean it once every two weeks.
My parents won't have any part of this. Don't you think my parents are failing to take my busy schedule into consideration? Maybe a word from you might get them to change their minds. I've talked with this very nice lady and she said that she would be happy to tidy my room if given permission by my parents. — Anonymous, Rochester, MN.
ANONYMOUS: Sorry, but I'm on your parents' side in this matter — you don't need a housekeeper! I agree that you should be responsible for maintaining order in your room, and furthermore, I think you should be assigned certain daily household chores. If you budget your time, you could keep your room tidy and do your chores and still have ample time for study and other activities.
Teens should help out at home. This is an important part of how they learn to take responsibility, which is a prerequisite for achieving independence.
PUT AN END TO "POOR ME"
TEENS: Who is lonely? Elderly widows? Divorcees living alone? Bachelors? Some of them, yes. But, surprising, the loneliest group of all is teenagers, says writer Dan Carlinsky.
Researchers at the University of Nebraska found that high school students are the most troubled by loneliness, with college students next in line.
Does this make sense? Can a young active girl with a family and friends really be lonelier than a retiree living alone? Can a young man at school really feel so isolated?
Young people, who tend to be idealistic, often want and expect to have many deep, lasting relationships. When things don't turn out quite as they hoped, the gap between desire and reality makes them feel let down and empty.
Older people, with a lifetime of experience, are more realistic. They know that "perfect" relationships are rare. Since they have different expectations, they are dissatisfied far less often than teens are.
What often makes things worse for a lonely teen is the fear that, "I'm the only one who feels this way." To be lonely is frightening enough, but to look around and find that everyone else appears to be happy and satisfied is depressing.
A sure way to end the loneliness is to be a "joiner." Clubs, teams, and other school, church and community activities will put it and end to "poor me." For example, many great organizations are in need of volunteers, and these organizations are often populated with some very nice volunteers and staff as well.
My advice for anyone (of any age) is to be proactive and reach out. Find places you can comfortably circulate. Sitting in your room, or even in front of a television in a living room won't cut it. Get out of the house and live a little!
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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