DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and have quite a few girlfriends, and I am active in school activities. Many of my close friends talk about sexual encounters with their boyfriends. All I do is listen because I can't join in the conversation because I've never been sexually involved with a guy. My friends know this and they tease me about being a virgin. They keep saying, "You don't know what you're missing."
I've been dating a guy for a while. There are times that he is sexually "frisky," but I keep him under control. I'm not asking if I should remain a virgin because it's what I choose, not what you say. I know that you would tell me not to have sex if I asked you. I don't want you to tell me no; I want you to give me as many reasons as you can why a girl should not lose her virginity before she gets married. I really want to hear what you have to say. —Anonymous, San Diego, CA.
ANONYMOUS: Many times your peers can give much better responses than mine. Please read the following letter at its message is loud and clear:
DR. WALLACE: I've been reading your column for quite some time, but I never dreamed I would ever be writing you. Actually, I'm addressing my letter to all the teenage girls who read your column. I hope I can spare them the misery I went through concerning sex.
When I was 16, all my girlfriends were sexually active with her boyfriends. Me? I was the lone virgin. Soon they were encouraging me to have sex so I could share in the interesting "Group discussions."
I thought I was ready and in love with my boyfriend, so one night I said yes. Well, I found out the hard way that he didn't really love me and soon he was calling me only when he wanted sex. Not only that, he also was telling his friends that I was an easy mark and I guess I was. I had sex with many of his friends. Honestly I believed that each guy really liked me and that having sex was away of showing true affection. How naive and wrong I was!
No, I didn't get pregnant, and no, I didn't catch a disease (the boys always used a condom; I insisted), but as a young woman I feel I was used and abused sexually. The emotional scars of my sexual awakening will be with me forever. I made a big mistake by having sex early and often in life. First, I thought everyone was doing it. Next, I thought I was physically and emotionally ready, but I absolutely wasn't.
Girls, I plead with you not to get sexually active because you want to know what sex is all about or you feel you're missing out on something special. Believe me, you are not. The time will come when you are truly in love and mature enough to enter into a physical relationship. Hopefully, it will be after you say, "I do," to your husband. —Remorseful, Los Angeles, Ca.
MORE FEMALES ATTEND COLLEGE
DR. WALLACE: Please settle this family disagreement. My counselor said that more females attend college than males. My-know-it all brother disagrees. Where can I find the correct answer? It's very important that I get this information because we made a "sibling bet" and the loser has to do the winner's chores for two long, hard weeks.
My brother said he got his "males dominate" information from his football coach. - Skeptical sister, Atlanta, GA.
SKEPTICAL: Tell your brother to roll up his sleeves and get to work - you win! The U.S. Department of Labor's most recent report indicates that college enrollment for female high school graduates was 71.9 percent, while 67.4 percent of male high school graduates attend.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
View Comments