DR. WALLACE: Our parents were divorced two years ago and my sister and I were glad to see our father leave. He was always drunk or, if sober, in a foul mood. Since he has been gone, our home has been cheery and pleasant.

I'm 17 now and my sister is 16. We have only seen our father maybe a dozen times since the divorce.

Last night, to our surprise, our mother told us that she and our dad were going to get married again. We were really shocked and we could not believe that she would marry him again. We both told her we did not want him to move back into our home. She said that he has changed and that she has really missed him while he was gone.

We both think she is making a big mistake. How can we get our mother to change her mind? Please hurry with your answer. — Olivia, Phoenix, Ariz.

OLIVIA: It is imperative that your mother explains all the reasons that she plans to remarry your father. Has he stopped drinking? Is his demeanor more cheery? You and your sister should discuss these issues with both mother and father present so that you can understand their decision.

Of course, your parents deserve another chance at happiness together, but only if your father has made the necessary corrections in his attitude and lifestyle. Make sure your mother and father read my response.

HIS PROBLEM IS CONSUMING ALCOHOL DAILY

DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend is 18 and he is a very sweet guy. He always treats me with total respect and I really love him and know that he loves me. My parents don't like him because they think he has a drinking problem, but he doesn't. He has a beer or two a day, but he drinks because he wants to, not because he has to. I've been dating him for over eight months and I have never observed any altered behavior because he has had a few beers. He also is a very safe and courteous driver and he gets mad when he reads in the newspaper articles where drunken drivers have caused accidents.

What can I do to convince my parents that my boyfriend does not have a drinking problem? My dad even refers to him as an alcoholic. — Nameless, Iowa City, Iowa.

NAMELESS: Your boyfriend might not be considered an alcoholic but he does have a drinking problem and should seek help before it gets worse. Have him call Alcoholics Anonymous (white pages of the phone book) and explain his drinking habit and this excellent organization will provide him with helpful information.

It's not the amount of alcohol consumed that is troublesome. It's the fact that he consumes alcohol daily!

WE CAN'T ALWAYS GO TO MY HOUSE

DR. WALLACE: I'm 13 and so is my very best friend. We spend a lot of time at each other's house. Her father recently lost his job so he is always home when I'm there, and so is her mom. Sometimes the two of them get into terrible screaming arguments. This makes me become very uncomfortable and it really embarrasses my friend.

The last time I was there, her mom threw a cup at her dad and it almost hit me on the head. It did hit the T.V. set we were watching and it broke into a lot of pieces. I went straight home after that. I really don't want to go back to her house, but we can't always go to my house. What should we do? — Nameless, Detroit, Mich.

NAMELESS: I'm glad that the chaos in your best friend's house is not threatening your friendship. My best advice is, when you are at her house, stay as far away from her parents as possible — outdoors, in an unoccupied room or in your friend's room with the door closed.

When a father loses his job, a family can be plunged into great financial stress. This doesn't justify the screaming, object-throwing arguments of your friend's parents, but at least you can understand that their behavior is a function of their difficult situation.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: David Goehring