TEENS: Louise is 15 and her best friend, Alexi, who is 16, recently had a baby, and Louise was invited to her "after" baby shower. Louise wanted to attend, but her mother didn't want her to go because she thought it was "tacky" to have a shower for a 16-year-old unwed mother.

I responded by saying that it wasn't "tacky" to have the shower, but that baby showers should be adult affairs and that 15-year-olds should have better things to do with their time and money than spending them both at a baby shower. My response brought many letters and emails "politely" informing me that I needed to rethink my answer. Here are a few representative letters:

DR. WALLACE: I disagree with your advice to Louise. Baby showers are a ladies' function, not an adult function, and what better thing do you suggest for a 15-year-old young woman to do than attend a friend's baby shower? At least she would have the opportunity to observe that motherhood is a big responsibility and that 16-year-olds should do better things with their time than become mothers at such a young age. — Lisa, Miami, Fla.

DR. WALLACE: I read your column routinely and usually feel that you give sound advice. However, your response to Louise about attending a friend's baby shower was way out of line. You said that 14-year-olds should have better things to do with their time. I could agree with your response if the shower was for her mother's friend, but the shower was for her best friend. The young mother who chose to keep her baby needs all the love and support she can get. — Karen, Reno, Nev.

DR. WALLACE: When does a teen have better things to do with her time than to spend it with a friend? You blew your answer. — Sue, Des Moines, Iowa.

DR. WALLACE: Are friends supposed to desert friends just because they become mothers? I'll bet you get a lot of letters on this boo-boo. — Melody, Rye, N.Y.

DR. WALLACE: When I was 16, my oldest daughter was born. The baby's father and I had a lot of support from our families so we decided to keep the baby and finish high school. I was a very scared and confused young girl while I was pregnant.

But two weeks after I gave birth to a healthy 7-pound, 11-ounce baby girl, a friend of mine and her mother threw a baby shower for me. It was wonderful and all of my friends came to see me and my baby. It was one of the happiest times in my life!

TEENS: I wasn't thinking of changing my mind until I read Amy's letter. That did it! My answer to Louise was wrong, and I apologize. Good friends should be together to share important moments in life! — Amy, Pittsburg, Pa.

DON'T DATE FRIEND'S EX-BOYFRIEND

DR. WALLACE: Megan is my very best friend. She and Danny were dating, but they broke up. He says he broke up with her because she was "too possessive." But she told me that she dumped him because she wanted to date other guys.

Danny called me and asked me out, but I told him I'd think about it. I talked to Megan about it and she said it was my decision, but she would rather I didn't go out with him. What do you think I should do? — Alexis, Seattle, Wash.

ALEXIS: I receive many letters very similar to yours, and my answer is always the same: If you value your friendship with your best friend, don't go out with her ex-boyfriend. That's doubly true after a recent breakup. The wound is still fresh.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.