DR. WALLACE: I'm now a college student and a girl who's trying to change her luck in the dating game. After what I would call an unsuccessful dating career in high school, I'm wary of falling into the same patterns again.

My problem, or should I say challenge, is that I'm attracted to type "A" personalities whenever I seem to meet new guys. However, I end up finding out that the guys I've selected so far turned out to be way too intense. Intensity and zest for life or a better career is one thing, but to date guys who 24/7 live in a state of intensity across every aspect of their lives is too much for me to handle.

I've often thought I would like to find a motivated go-getter type of a guy, but someone who had a bit of a soul and a calmer side when he was off the clock, regarding his job or career aspirations. Is this too much to ask? If not, where should I be looking for the right kind of connection who could potentially match up with me? — Dating Experience Without Positive Results, via email

DATING EXPERIENCE WITHOUT POSITIVE RESULTS: When you do meet someone new in the future, space your dates out a minimum of seven days apart. This will give you time to evaluate what you witnessed during the first date, and you can make several mental notes that will help prepare you for the second date, where your sense of deductive reasoning will be even sharper. Rinse and repeat as needed and don't be afraid to suddenly become unavailable. Once you know a new dating partner is not going to be a long-term fit, cut your losses. The moment you know you it's not a fit, fold things up and move on. Be adamant about this!

Beyond that, you might be a perfect candidate to do volunteer work as a means of both doing good in your community and finding opportunities to meet new people. You will most likely come across individuals there who have great motivation but also possess a sense of compassion and who have vision beyond just their own daily needs, goals and desires. Such a person, at least on paper, would likely have a better chance of being more compatible with you.

I'M HESITANT TO SPEAK UP WITH MY IDEAS

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 17-year-old girl, and my best friend is the same age and gender. We met at our high school, as I moved to a new area this summer before I met her.

She's a nice person and a really good friend, but over the past year, I've noticed that she tends not to compromise much with my wishes when we plan to do different things together. She's not necessarily the accommodating type, and she's always very sure of herself that her ideas are correct and worthy of following virtually at all times.

We have a big weekend planned, along with some other friends, two weeks from now. I have several good ideas I would like us to not only consider, but to implement as I'm sure it will benefit the two of us plus the group. Since I don't push her to accept any of my ideas ever anyway, I feel the least she could do would be to roll with me at least this one time.

But to be honest with you, I become hesitant when I think that I may drive her away if she feels that I'm too pushy. Since I only know a few other people besides her, I'm concerned I'll be left without a close friend, and that might not be ideal both this summer and heading into the next school year. What's your opinion regarding this situation? — Hesitant to Voice My Suggestions, via email

HESITANT TO VOICE MY SUGGESTIONS: It's ironic to me that you're concerned about being viewed as too pushy when your friend is indeed the one who pushes her agenda forward nearly 100% of the time.

You have every right to make your own suggestions as to what ideas you have when the two of you get together, and to be honest with you, speaking up for yourself will enhance your friendship rather than set it back. Your ideas and suggestions should be integrated into the mix whenever the two of you get together.

And if she summarily dismisses your suggestions, speaks down to you in any way, or tells you that your ideas are unworthy, you may not have as good a friendship as you once believed you did. Step forward and voice your suggestions. Her reaction to your comments will be very enlightening either way.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Jonathan J. Castellon at Unsplash