DR. WALLACE: As a parent of a teenager with a cellphone, is it wrong to go through my teenager's phone? I can tell you that I paid for the phone, and I pay for the plan. Recently I was with a group of friends who all have teenage daughters; three out of the four mentioned that they do regularly monitor their teenagers' phones.

The teen in question here is 16 and it's not that I don't trust her; it's more that I just want to keep my finger on the pulse of her social life and not let anything untoward begin to drift out of control. Do you have an opinion on this topic and perhaps any associated suggestions? — Concerned Mother of a Teen Daughter, via email

CONCERNED MOTHER OF A TEEN DAUGHTER: I personally am not a big fan of this, but I fully understand why some parents wish to take this approach.

If you do wish to proceed down this path, I recommend that you notify her of this in advance. Establish your expectations, define your rules and let her know that since you're the parent and she is under 18, you will be monitoring her phone usage.

As you go through this process, take care not to overdo it. An example in my book of overdoing it would be to scroll through her phone calls and texts every single day. Don't do this.

Instead, monitor it occasionally and randomly. But beyond this telephone monitoring, please realize that direct communication via regular conversations with your daughter is your best line of defense. Consider accessing her phone only a backup, not as your primary source of monitoring her social activities.

And as you go through this process, realize that teenagers need some personal space, especially if they have not had any issues arise in the past.

I ENJOY IT, SO PLEASE NO LECTURES!

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 20-year-old construction worker and I'm probably the exception rather than the rule when it comes to the topic of smoking. I truly enjoy smoking cigarettes, as they help me relax and calm down after several hours of hard manual labor.

I know most of the people who smoke that take the time to write to you are trying to find a way to quit smoking, but you can put me on record as one who actually enjoys it and is not looking to quit!

I can also tell you that I'm very respectful to others when I smoke. I usually only smoke outdoors, and I'm sure to keep my distance from others. Not only this, but I even check the direction of the wind to make sure my secondhand smoke does not drift into the path of anybody who doesn't want to smell it.

I think you should realize that there are a few of us out here who enjoy smoking cigarettes despite the obvious health risks! — They Help Me Relax, via email

THEY HELP ME RELAX: Although I understand and respect your position, I still advise you to find an opportunity soon to at least consider quitting your smoking habit. Realize that as a young person, your body can reverse much of the damage you've already accumulated via smoking if you're able to quit entirely at some point in the near future.

I do commend you for being respectful to others by smoking outdoors with others in mind.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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