DR. WALLACE: I'm a lovelorn teenage girl. My best friend when I was younger was a boy, which everyone thought was unusual. We never dated because we were very young (not even teenagers yet):

A few years ago, my family moved out of the area, and I lost contact with him. But now, years later, we've moved back to our old town and I saw him again the other day! That was the good news, but the bad news is that he now has a girlfriend and he definitely doesn't seem as friendly as he was back then. We are both 17 now, so we've each matured since those childhood days.

But my feelings for him have only grown! The instant I saw him again after all these years, I realized I really feel a deep attachment to him. He's still the same guy, but now he's much more mature and handsome.

Now, every time I see him in public, I feel awkward because I worry he can tell how I feel. I'll admit that I'm very jealous of his girlfriend and their relationship. I just don't know how to handle this. Any ideas? — Old Flame Still Burns Bright, via email

OLD FLAME STILL BURNS BRIGHT: First of all, do nothing to attempt to break up this couple. That would be the worst thing you could do, and it might possibly cost you a clean and honorable opportunity to spend time with him in the future should they ever part ways.

If they do break up, you can contact him as a friend and ask him to spend some time with you reminiscing about the old days. He may or may not ever have romantic interest in you in the future but based upon your friendship you have every right to at least engage him in some nice, long conversations once he is again single. In the meantime, date other guys in your town and enjoy your life with your family and friends. I would not advocate that you wait around and put your life on hold obsessing about his social life.

IT'S HARD TO SAY "NO"

DR. WALLACE: I just turned 15, and every day I'm confronted with difficult choices. I can't really talk to my parents about this. They don't understand today's modern world because they're so old-fashioned.

Whether it's hanging around with a group that does drugs, goes out drinking or just sits around smoking and vaping, I seem to have a lot of slacker friends. They all do something that they enjoy doing now, but none of them seem to have any future plans at all. They just live day to day, trying to get off on one substance or another. For me, it's just so hard to say no to everything they want to do every day.

How do I find the strength to keep myself away from these potentially destructive forces? — Seeking to Improve Myself, via email

SEEKING TO IMPROVE MYSELF: My first bit of advice is to find new friends immediately! The old saying about birds of a feather flocking together has some truth to it.

Based on your letter, I'd say you are at a point in your life that you are craving positive reinforcement and encouragement, especially when it comes to making changes in your life. You are unlikely to find that within the circle of your friends who, as you put it, "live day to day with no future plans at all."

Seek out potential new friends who do have plans for the future. Think about what you'd like to do and where you'd like to see yourself in a year, three years and five years from now.

My advice is simple, but the execution of my suggestions is the hard part. Spend less time with your existing friends and more time with people who will encourage you and who can help you with your future plans and dreams.

I understand that this likely can't happen overnight. There's no magic switch to turn on or off here. But you can make up your mind that you'll start your new journey right away. Seek to make incremental progress, by making some positive steps each day, each week and each month. Any movement in a new direction will build momentum. Keep at it. Socialize with new people as often as possible and be bold enough to ask them for their help, guidance and assistance. You'll be surprised at just how many people will step up to help another person who is earnestly trying to improve him- or herself.

Be cognizant of the assistance you do receive, and be sure to offer to do favors or to help out in return wherever you can.

Good luck, and please get started today. You've already written to me, so you now have some momentum established. Build upon it.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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