DR. WALLACE: I'd like to comment on the girl who is constantly being beaten by her boyfriend, but couldn't break up with him because she "loved" him.
I, too, loved my former boyfriend. In fact, we were engaged and had planned to be married after we both graduated from high school. At that time he was a senior and I was a junior. Those plans are off permanently now, and I feel I need to tell my story here as a warning to others. One night when we were out, we got into an argument and he got so upset he punched me and gave me a black eye. He then cried real tears and promised me that he would never do it again. Well, he never kept this promise. He later hit me time after time and it kept getting progressively worse.
Because I loved him, I forgave him each time and repeatedly told myself "this will be the last time" after each incident happened. Then one day he beat me so hard he knocked me unconscious. After I woke up, he cried again and said he would never lay another finger on me.
When I got home, my dad figured out what happened. I was out of crazy stories and lies on why I was battered and bruised. Dad called the police and the result was that my "loving" abuser got a 30-day stay in jail.
I finally had to have corrective surgery so I could breathe out of my nose normally. The doctor told me that if he had hit me in a little harder I might've died.
Our entire family ended up moving to another state because this guy would punch me regularly on our dates, and we feared future violence. The funny thing is that he wasn't a troublemaker and had no police record prior to my dad turning him in. At one time was a wonderful, sweet guy. His problem was that he couldn't control his temper, and I suffered terribly from that.
So, girls, if your boyfriend is beating you, please believe me, the beatings will not stop until the guy gets professional psychiatric help, and even then, there is often no guarantee. Life is too short to go through it as a punching bag. Don't wait as long as I did. Let his first punch or act of violence be his last. Dump him immediately. You and your body will be the winner. — Anonymous in hiding, via email
ANONYMOUS: Thanks so much for sharing your story with our readers. I'm sure many teens will heed your advice. It's not only heartfelt but 100 percent correct. There is never any excuse for a date to become violent with a "supposed" loved one.
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SCREAMED
DR. WALLACE: I'm mad as heck and there's nothing that can make me feel better. I've been grounded for two weeks just for calling my younger brother a "stupid idiot" during supper last night. To be honest, I screamed at him because he spilled a glass of milk over my brand-new jeans. It was an accident but he wasn't minding his manners. Instead of asking for the salad dressing to be passed to him, he reached way across the table for it and spilled my glass of milk in the process.
It so happened that our grandparents were having supper with us, but that's no big deal because they are a part of our extended family. Being grounded is disastrous because it means I can't attend my best girlfriend's surprise party, which is being hosted by another good friend of ours. I think my punishment was much too harsh for my "crime." If you agree, I'll campaign for a lighter sentence. — Sorry sister, Chicago, Ill.
SORRY: Emotions must've been running high at dinner that night. You shouldn't have screamed at your brother but being somewhat upset by his clumsiness is understandable — to a point. Apologize sincerely to all concerned and perhaps you'll convince mom and dad that they, too, overreacted. You might even offer to do your brother's chores for a week in exchange for the removal of the grounding.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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