DR. WALLACE: My parents have set a "start dating" age for me of 16 and a half. I've got about six months to go, which means I won't be able to go out with a guy until sometime in late November. I'll be in the 11th grade in the fall and I can honestly say that I'll be the one and only 11th grader whose parents won't allow her to date. I get above-average grades and I'm not a problem at school, and I'm pretty good at home, too.

My dad is a lawyer and my mom is a dentist, and I think they are completely out of touch with reality. What do you think? — Julie, Provo, Utah.

JULIE: You may or may not be mature enough to start dating before that magic date in November, but my disagreement with your parents is in their letting the calendar do their decision-making.

Maturity is not a function of chronological age. In my opinion, parents should be willing to cut the apron strings and allow their teen to start dating once she has: A) expressed an interest in doing so; and B) demonstrated maturity and trustworthiness. This usually occurs sometime after the teen turns 15.

PLEASE CONVINCE MY PARENTS

DR. WALLACE: I recently graduated from high school in the top 10 percent of my class. I have always taken the most difficult courses offered because I enjoy being challenged. So I was thrilled to learn of my acceptance into my university's prestigious Honors Program. The problem is that my parents want me to get a job while in college. It would be a work-study thing. I'm afraid that this will cause my grades to suffer, and I have to maintain a 3.5 GPA or risk losing my Honors status. Plus, I know what it's like to be stretched too thin, and I don't want to be stressed out all the time. I've had part-time jobs for the past two summers, and I saved up some money, but I never had to work during the school year before.

My parents' argument is that they both worked in college; however, they didn't take hard classes. Financially, we're well off, and my tuition is covered by scholarships (it will actually cost less for me to go to college than it costs to attend my private high school). I'm not immature, irresponsible or lazy. I'd just like to have free time when I'm not studying.

Dr. Wallace, can you convince my parents that I deserve at least one semester to get acclimated to my new environment (I'll be living in an unfamiliar city with a roommate I don't know) and my demanding schedule before taking on the additional responsibility of a job? We can't seem to resolve this, and I don't want to drop some classes like my parents are suggesting. Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated. — Sadie, Concord, N.H.

SADIE: Your parents didn't ask me for advice, so I'm not sure they will enjoy my comments to you. When attending college, earning the highest grades possible is the prime goal, and everything else regarding college life is secondary. The only time working while attending college might be necessary is if the money earned is necessary to meet college expenses.

I HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM

DR. WALLACE: You often urge teens to talk with a trusted adult when they have a serious problem but can't confide in a parent. Well, I have a serious problem, and I want to share it with a trusted adult and get some advice. I know of two adults who might help me, but I'm concerned that they might not want to get involved. How should I approach these people to be sure they'll help me? — Nameless, Hinsdale, Ill.

NAMELESS: Most adults would feel honored to have a young person ask them for advice and guidance. When you approach the person, simply say: "I need advice from an adult I can trust and your name immediately came to mind. Can I discuss a few things with you?"

In the great majority of cases the answer will be, "Yes, how can I help you?" But don't be discouraged if they answer, "I'd rather not get involved." Simply ask another trusted person. A good friend's parent or another relative of yours might be a good starting point.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.