DR. WALLACE: I turned 16 last week so this means that I am now allowed to date, but my parents have made one totally unacceptable rule. My 13-year-old-sister must accompany the boy and me when we are on a date — no exceptions.

I think this is ridiculous! First, this plan would embarrass me to death, and second, I doubt any boy I would be dating would agree to have my younger sister tagging along on a date with us.

I was totally stunned when my parents told me about this restriction. I'm a good student, and I teach a Sunday school class for five-year-olds at our church. I have never been involved in alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes. Honestly, I'm a pretty good kid.

I guess this parental restriction on me tells me that my parents think that I can't be trusted, and that's a very bad feeling for me. Please give me your opinion of my situation. — Nameless, Mobile, Ala.

NAMELESS: Your parents have made a big mistake. Sending your little sister along on your dates to act as a chaperone can only be humiliating for everyone concerned. Your parents have chosen to be overprotective, and this is every bit as bad as being under-protective!

Trust is a precious commodity; it's at the core off a well-functioning family. If you haven't abused Mom and Dad's trust in you, they should nurture trust and gradually increase your independence. I'm amazed at parents who will trust everyone but their own children. Girls, especially, wind up chafing under undeserved mistrust. Boys are seldom watched as closely.

Ask your parents to reconsider this rule. Tell them that you will have your date stop by to meet them before the actual date and let them know a little about him. Tell them that you will always abide by their curfew. Also, do your parents expect your little 13-year-old sister to be with you on a special occasion when the curfew is 11 p.m.?

I'M SHY AND NEED HELP

DR. WALLACE: Your column often urges teens to talk to a trusted adult about their problems. I have often longed for someone to help me through some of life's unfair twists. I have several people I feel I can talk to, but I'm not exactly sure how to ask for help and I'm worried that I'll just be a burden to them.

People consider me to "have my life together" and are unaware of the inner turmoil I've been experiencing. I am a shy person and was wondering if you could give me some suggestions for expressing myself. I've been struggling for a while and it's really bothering me! — Shy, Halifax, Nova Scotia.

SHY: Don't continue to suffer in silence! Talking to someone about the important issues in your life may be a far simpler matter than you imagine. Most people would be thrilled and honored to have someone, especially a young person, ask for advice and guidance. Far from regarding you as a burden, they would feel deeply validated as human beings.

You might try approaching someone by saying, "I need advice from a trusted adult and your name immediately came to mind. May I discuss a few things with you? In the vast majority of cases, the answer will be yes.

Of course, in most cases, parents can help solve many teen concerns and would be happy to do so.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.