DR. WALLACE: I've got an older brother that I used to look up to a lot when I was younger, but now that we are both young adults, I'm realizing that my personality is much different than his, therefore I no longer try to emulate him.

He's 20, and I'm 18. I'm the kind of guy who likes to plan, organize things, know what I'm getting into and how I'm going to handle things before they even happen. He, on the other hand, lives his life as some sort of an "escape artist" as it always seems like he's going around each corner on two wheels about to tip over, but somehow he manages to never have that happen. He's always dealing with trying to untangle himself from various situations — some regarding his job, our parents, his girlfriend and even dealing with his professors at the college he attends.

He has gotten into the odd bit of trouble here and there in the past, but in no way has he ever been held accountable for some of the severe things that I happen to personally know he got away with undeservedly. Are some people just destined to be able to get away with things that the rest of us typically don't? — He's Escaped Accountability Thus Far, via email

HE'S ESCAPED ACCOUNTABILITY THUS FAR: It's interesting how, as you've aged, you've noticed the divergence between your respective personalities, and how that accounts for you no longer seeking to swim in his wake.

I do not believe that there are people destined to permanently escape accountability. It's just that some are much better at delaying the hammer coming down than others are, for various reasons. At some point, I feel there will be fissures in your brother's streak of luck, and when they finally crack wider and give way, he could be facing a massive accountability situation on multiple levels.

If you're so inclined, you could at least take a few minutes to sit down with your brother and show him your methodology for living your life, and how it has benefited you thus far. Tell him you're available to help him at any time, or to encourage him to not step so far out on so many ledges simultaneously.

MY LITTLE BROTHER HIDES UNDER HIS BED!

DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and my little brother is 6. We live in a nice household for the most part, but our parents do argue with each other, sometimes rather loudly and intensely. The good news is these arguments are usually brief and I've never seen my them fail to make up.

But my little brother has a really quirky thing that he does that has me wondering about him. Whenever my parents yell at him for something he did wrong, or whenever he hears our parents arguing in the living room or at the dining table, he will head to his room and when I go to check on him, I find that he is hiding underneath his bed!

I often have told him that I know where he is and I can see him, but for 10 or 15 minutes, he won't reply at all, and during that time, he never says a word. Eventually, he does come out and I can get him to calm down.

Why in the world would my six-year-old brother hide under the bed when we all could see him go down the hall to his room and when it's so easy to find him? Why does he think he's invisible and that we'll never be able to see him? — My Brother Has an Odd Habit, via email

MY BROTHER HAS AN ODD HABIT: My hunch is that your brother is not logically thinking that he's invisible or anything like that. He also likely knows that he can be found, but my feeling is that he is using the space under his bed as a place to escape from the raised voices and yelling, which obviously upsets him tremendously. He's seeking a refuge or a safe place to escape what was in front of him.

Encourage your parents to have a sit-down talk with him and fully explain that they love him and they love each other, but sometimes even loving family members get upset with each other briefly. Have them explain to him that they get over their anger quickly and then they apologize to each other and make up with each other appropriately. Your impressionable younger brother needs to see the second half of the story and not just focus merely on the yelling without any detailed explanation of how the entire situation resolves positively in the end. He also needs to hear the words, "We love you" and "We love each other" to help build positive connotations in his developing mind.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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