DR. WALLACE: My parents told me I can't date until I turn 16, as this has been a family rule for years. I'm the youngest of five siblings, and of course they are all happily dating by now.

Well, my 16th birthday is next month on June 4. I just got asked to go out on a date by the very guy I have been dreaming about for months! I almost fainted when I heard him ask me, and all I could say was that I'd have to ask my parents and get back to him.

Then I did some research on what the date actually is. It turns out that his family is going to a local lake for an afternoon and early evening barbecue. His brothers and sisters, some friends, both of his parents and several other adults will be there. This event is only 25 miles from our home, and I'd be back home before 9 p.m. since his parents offered to drive me up to the lake and back home with them.

I know that I won't be 16 until June 4, but this event is on Saturday, May 20! I really want to go on this date very badly, but I'm afraid that if I ask my parents they will laugh at me and tell me that I already know the family rules! I'm also worried that if I ask my siblings for help that they will not be sympathetic to my situation since they didn't get any breaks when they were my age. What can I do? Do you have any ideas? — So Close but Still Not Old Enough, via email

SO CLOSE BUT STILL NOT OLD ENOUGH: I recommend that you speak up for yourself and give your parents all of the specific details. Explain that this would be a huge favor to you, and since you are their last child who is starting a dating career, perhaps an exception could be made if you did some extra chores around the house or helped out with anything useful to your family members in exchange for a grace period of two weeks.

Ask your parents if they would be willing to meet his parents and speak to them about the event and the transportation they would be providing you. Usually, once a set of parents like yours meets the "other" parents, they reach a much better comfort level.

Hopefully doing extra chores or sacrificing other free time of yours may be enough to sway your parents to your point of view. After all, there will be no more dating exceptions for age once you start dating. Also, tell them that you would be willing to wait two weeks after your 16th birthday to go on any more dates (so that you would be "paying back" the time you were "advanced"!).

Hopefully a combination of these strategies will give you the end result you desire. And then, only if you still find yourself stuck after all of that, you may want to enlist your siblings to give you their blessing to be allowed the two-week grace period. You can also offer to compensate them by doing favors or chores for them since you would be getting a benefit they did not receive. I trust your siblings will be mellower about this issue than you initially feared. And if they tell your parents they are good with giving you a break, your parents would be more likely to relent on their position. Good luck. I feel that you should be allowed this exception based on the circumstances and chaperone situation that your date would entail.

I'M EMBARRASSED TO ADMIT THIS TO YOU

DR. WALLACE: I'd like to quit smoking, Dr. Wallace! I'm embarrassed to admit that I'm now a regular smoker to you, but sadly, it's true. I started by sneaking a cigarette here and there with some friends back when I was just 15. Over the past two years, I've somehow been addicted to the point that I smoke at least half a pack of cigarettes a day and sometimes even a full pack!

It's a lot of work for me to hide this from my parents since they don't know anything about this. I have to wash my own clothes and I must guard my room like a hawk so that nobody gets near my dirty clothes.

You might be surprised to learn that I am a 17-year-old girl! I'm guessing that you likely get more boys than girls who admit to becoming hooked on smoking, but here I am.

I feel sad, like I'm a failure by getting myself in this position, so I've decided that I'm going to quit "cold turkey" over this upcoming Memorial Day weekend. I've already been cutting back and I intend to stop entirely so that by June 1 I will not inhale one more puff of a cigarette, or any other substance for that matter.

Am I as unusual as I now feel? At least I figure you can provide me with a few statistics about smoking so that I can have something to mull over as I head forward on what I know will be a difficult journey to kick this habit for good. — Ready to Retire My Smokes, via email

READY TO RETIRE MY SMOKES: First of all, I heartily congratulate you on making such a wise decision. Your past mistakes can and will be reversed if you are indeed able to stop smoking right now at your young age. Your lungs will soon heal and you quite likely will have no lingering long-term problems with them if you are able to stop abusing them immediately.

There are all kinds of statistics on smoking available these days, both current and historical, so you can look up any of those you'd like, but they will all indicate that smoking is indeed harmful to the human body.

I'll provide you with a few statistics that have stuck with me the most over the years. First of all, the younger a person starts, the more likely that individual is to remain a smoker and to pass away prematurely due to this damaging habit. This statistic alone should help provide you an additional increment of motivation to follow through with your plan, no matter how tough your withdrawals are at first.

Another interesting one is that for the past seven decades, overall smoking rates have declined, but the smoking rates of those ages 17 and younger have remained quite steady. This tells you that you are indeed not alone with your plight.

Finally, children of smokers are twice as likely to smoke themselves when compared to children of nonsmokers. So, if you plan to have a family someday in the future, it would be wise for you to quit now to give your children a better chance to avoid this dangerous habit. Good luck with your plan and do your utmost to stick with it. Your body will thank you tremendously once you come out clean on the other side.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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