DR. WALLACE: I'm a busy 17-year-old junior female high school student and I have two younger siblings, a 13-year-old sister and an 11-year-old brother. My little brother is a joy. He's very funny and very much a team player with everyone in the family. He keeps us constantly amused with his antics, but he never gets into any real trouble. My mom and I think that he's going to grow to be a comedian someday.

But my little sister has quite the opposite personality. She's very clingy and needy, and she can't seem to make any sort of decision without consulting me first. For example, she won't go shopping for clothes or shoes with our mother unless I attend the shopping trip with her. She constantly asks me about what clothes to wear, how to act and what classes she should take in school. And of course, she wants to learn all she can about dating and socializing, so she's constantly quizzing me about that topic as well.

I love her, so I don't mind spending time with her, but I'm worried that once I go away to college in two years she'll be lost without my guidance! It's not that I know anything more than anyone else, but I guess she leans on me so much because I'm four years older than she is and I have much more experience in many areas of life.

How can I get her weaned off me within the next year or so? I'd like to be able to go off to my preferred college in the next state from here with a clear conscience. — She Leans on Me for Everything, via email

SHE LEANS ON ME FOR EVERYTHING: It's natural for a younger sister to consult with an older sister about many things in life, particularly clothing, fashion and makeup. But your case does sound a bit extreme compared to the usual stories I've heard over the years.

I suggest that in the next year you praise her for her progress in many areas, and tell her that if she truly wants to be like you are, she needs to slowly but surely begin paving her own road in life, the way you did. Explain that you had no older sister to help you, so you've forged ahead the best you could, and things turned out well for you. Then tell her she has the advantage of all of your insights and coaching, and she's more than well prepared to begin making her own decisions and finding her own way in life.

The good news is she's 13 now and will be nearly 15 or so by the time you head off to college. There is usually a big difference in the level of maturity in teenage girls between the ages of 13 and 15, so I trust your sister will be much more mentally prepared as that time approaches, especially given the outstanding counseling and guidance you will continue to provide her until then.

I THINK ALL OF THE "AGE RULES" ARE STUPID

DR. WALLACE: What's so magical about turning any particular age? I think our society is crazy to say that a young person who is 20 years, 364 days old can't drink or purchase alcohol, but magically, on the very next day they can buy as much or drink as much as they would like.

The same goes for purchasing cigarettes, and also for 18-year-olds who can magically vote in elections. Why does our country do this? Everyone knows nothing magical happens overnight between the day before turning a "magical age" and the day the "magical age" actually arrives.

I think this is dumb and makes our country and the people making all the laws look stupid and ignorant. Do you agree that nothing special happens after waking up from a night's sleep to turn a big, "special" age? Something tells me that you won't agree with me, however. — I Don't Get It, via email

I DON'T GET IT: You may be surprised for me to tell you that I agree with you, at least partially. I agree that nothing special happens overnight before a teen turns 18 on the nose or a young adult turns exactly 21 to the day. But from there, we will have to agree to disagree.

The reason our society does this is because we have to make a general rule that can be applied to everybody equally based upon a specific biological age. In reality, some 17-year-olds are mature enough and informed enough to vote, and some 22-year-olds should be nowhere near alcohol, but it's impossible for our society to make individual judgment calls on each of the millions of people who turn 18 and 21 in our nation each year.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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