DR. WALLACE: Our high school graduation ceremony is coming up in early June, and I really don't want to attend it all. I'm a good student and I'll obviously graduate from my high school, but both of my parents work and travel quite a bit and they're not into school event ceremonies.

They will be out of town together on business the week I graduate so my mom asked her sister, my aunt, to go to the ceremony to represent our family. But the truth is I really don't want her to attend, and I'd rather just skip the whole affair.

My problem is that my three best friends really want me to go to the ceremony with them and hang out for a while afterward. Of course, I'd like to spend time with them, but they will have a lot of family members there and I fear that I'll look funny if there's nobody there from my family, especially my parents. I might even get a lot of questions about it, which would make me feel uncomfortable.

Do you think I should go to my high school graduation ceremony or just skip it entirely? — Not Looking Forward to It, via email

NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO IT: I think you should go on behalf of your friends, because this is a rite-of-passage event that culminates your shared experience attending the same high school as good friends.

I suggest that you speak to your friends and explain that your parents will be traveling that week and that you would prefer that you not receive any questions from their parents or family friends about where your parents are that day.

Finally, you can make the decision about if you prefer to have your aunt there or not, whichever makes you feel more comfortable after you've spoken with your close friends about the fact your parents won't be attending.

Years from now I trust you'll be glad you did attend the event with your close friends. It's something you can talk about for a lifetime, and it gives you all a great chance to spend a memorable time together to commemorate your high school days.

WE WANT TO IGNORE HIM ENTIRELY

DR. WALLACE: I have one sister and two stepbrothers. One of the stepbrothers, the younger one, is fairly normal and he treats my sister and me in a civilized manner. The older stepbrother, however, is rude and disrespectful, and we feel very uncomfortable around him.

We girls are ages 15 and 16 and their ages are 17 and 19. Do we really have to treat this 19-year-old jerk like a brother or is it all right to just ignore him? — We Don't Like Him at All, via email

WE DON'T LIKE HIM AT ALL: I see no reason for the two of you to get particularly close to him, but I would absolutely speak to both of your parents first. Explain that you don't feel comfortable around him and that you don't like the way he talks to you. Explain to your parents that you'll be respectful if spoken to, but that you're mostly going to just ignore him and won't be the ones initiating any conversations.

From there it's up to your parents to keep him in line. I trust they will side with you on this issue, and you should be allowed to just ignore him 95% of the time. You may want to ask his younger brother if he was ever a nice person when he was younger. If that answer is yes, you may have hope that he'll lighten up the longer he knows the two of you.

But if his younger brother confirms that he has always been crude to girls, it's best to keep away and trust your initial instincts.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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