DR. WALLACE: This week is my best friend's "sweet 16" birthday party. I have helped her plan it for months now and was so excited for it, until this morning came along.

My work schedule for the month of May came out, and I just found out that I have a shift this coming Saturday during the exact time of the day that my friend will be having her party. I had to call out sick once already at this job because I truly wasn't feeling too well, so I feel that's not really an option now for me this time around.

I feel so bad and don't want to tell her because I'm afraid she'll be really disappointed and upset with me. What do you think I should do in this situation? Attending her party is very important to me. — Double-booked, via email

DOUBLE-BOOKED: It comes down to your personal priorities. I'll assume you are close to age 16 as well, since your friend will be turning 16 soon later in May.

You must now choose between your job and your friend. Is your job very important to you? Do you truly need the money you earn from this job? I don't know your family and home situation, so it's unknown to me if your family counts on this money or if this job just provides you an opportunity to earn a little spending money and some savings, which is always a good thing.

You mentioned that this friend is your "best" friend, so think about that for a moment. She will only have one "sweet 16" party in her lifetime, so I can understand why you want to be there.

You do have two options that I can think of when it comes to your work schedule: First, you might be able to trade shifts with another employee so that you can work different hours that Saturday, or perhaps you can trade for a different day. The second option would be to go directly to your manager at your job and ask for that day off, given the circumstances of why that particular time is so important to you.

In either case, I recommend that you speak honestly with your manager. Don't tell a lie; don't call in sick when you are not truly sick. Your personal integrity is one of your most valuable assets in life, so guard it closely and maintain it during this challenging time.

If I were in your shoes — and if the job was not to help feed and house my family — I'd openly and honestly try to get the work schedule changed. If for any reason it could not be changed, and if you'd already made the decision to attend the party, then I'd suggest that you respectfully resign the job as far in advance as possible.

If you see yourself remaining a lifelong friend with this girl, then I feel this event is more important than a nominal teenage job. Hopefully, you can find another job soon if that's the case.

If your family truly counts on the revenue you receive from that job, then I would try to change the shift, and if that fails, I'd sit down for a tearful explanation to your best friend why you won't be able to attend her birthday party. You can and should bring her a gift and handwritten card before or after so that she knows how you continue to feel about her and your friendship.

WE BOTH HAVE THE SAME CRUSH

DR. WALLACE: My best friend and I have a crush on the same guy at our high school. This actually used to be a subject matter that we could bond over because we'd talk to each other all of the time about how cute we think he is. But now, a school dance is coming up in which the girls ask the guys to go to the dance, and we both want to ask him.

As a result, I feel like lately I've been trying to "outdo" my friend by attempting to wear cuter outfits than her, flirt with the guy who we like more than she does and basically do whatever it takes within reason to garner his attention.

It's horrible to feel as though my friend has now become my competitor, but I can tell that she is trying to compete with me, too, and it feels like everything is becoming a contest. The worst part is that I think my friend is planning on officially asking the guy who we like to the dance next week. I feel like I need to beat her to it, but I'm so worried that he'll reject me and choose to go with her instead, which would tear me apart and probably ruin our friendship. What should I do about this messy situation we presently find ourselves in? — Feeling like a competitor, via email

FEELING LIKE A COMPETITOR: Stop competing without discussing this matter with your friend. Instead, deal with the situation head-on right now!

Let's start with a dose of reality: It's possible that even if both of you girls end up asking this boy, he might decline both of you! Yes, it's also possible that he'd accept an invitation from one of you, but at this point, nothing is guaranteed.

You mention that your friend in this instance is your best friend. Are you also her best friend? How close are you, and how important is the friendship to each of you? These are the questions I'd work on first.

If your friendship is truly important to both of you, then don't risk ruining it. If it's not that important to one or the other of you, then it's not very strong and it won't matter much who asks, who competes, who tries to cut the other one out.

I do have a bit of advice that might apply if the two of you are truly best friends: If this is the case, talk about the situation and the guy openly right away, and laugh about how crazy it is that you'd both like to ask him to the dance. Then discuss how you both don't want to ruin your friendship no matter what happens. Do mention to her that he could decline one or both of your invitations. Suggest to her that you girls simply agree to flip a coin, and whoever wins the flip will be the first one to ask him to the dance!

If he accepts, you can feel that "fate" created the opportunity via the coin. If he declines, the other girl can ask him to the dance.

By addressing the matter directly with your friend, you'll end the "competition" phase of this situation, and your friendship will remain strong no matter how things turn out. Very few high school romances last a lifetime, but many high school friendships indeed last a lifetime. Take a good and honest look at your friendship and proceed accordingly.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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