DR. WALLACE: My fiance and I had originally been planning a big fall wedding, but with the COVID-19 virus, we are now thinking of moving it to the spring of 2021 instead. I'm wondering if we could run into problems if I accidentally became pregnant before then, especially since the spring of 2021 is a year away (and who knows if we could even hold a big wedding then?).

We are living together and get along great, so we don't need to rush anything, but if I were to become pregnant before getting married, that would not be an optimal result for us or our extended family members.

What do you suggest we do? Of course, we are using birth control and being as careful as we can in the meantime. — Wedding on Indefinite Hold, via email

WEDDING ON INDEFINITE HOLD: I've heard from other couples in similar situations to yours that they resolved their dilemma by getting married right away via using a justice of the peace ceremony with no family members present.

They then also plan to hold a formal, large, traditional wedding later, once society returns to a normal. This might provide an option for you to think about during these days of social distancing and limited gatherings.

Each couple should make their own decisions on how they wish to proceed given their particular situation, preferences, morals, extended family situations and the like.

ADVANCE MEETINGS MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE

DR. WALLACE: I read your column regularly, and I'm appalled at the number of letters and emails you receive from teens who actually take the time to write to you to rail about their dislike of their stepparents.

I am a stepmother. My husband's wife tragically died very young due to an illness. I never met her. I met my husband almost two years after she had passed. I always try to do my very best, but my stepchildren are always finding ways to keep our family in a constant state of tension over what I do or do not do. My stepchildren also often treat me like I am invisible in my own home. I'm certainly not perfect, but I'm involved in activities that can better our community, and I pull my weight with all of the family chores and responsibilities in our home.

I work hard to make our home comfortable and never forget a birthday or a special occasion. But any spoken "thank you" always goes to my husband and never to me.

My stepchildren can ignore or dislike me, but that will never bring back their deceased mother, nor will their family ever be as it was back then. Your thoughts on this matter will be appreciated, and I appreciate the opportunity to vent about this here in your column. I know this topic comes up a lot, and I hope other stepparents who suffer alienation from their stepchildren will know that they are absolutely not alone! — Unappreciated Stepparent

UNAPPRECIATED STEPPARENT: Being a stepparent can be a very difficult task, especially if there was no open meeting in advance that included all family members discussing how to welcome the stepparent into the new family. Your husband is the one who should have conducted such a family discussion to get the ball rolling. Drawing from my experiences in speaking to stepparents over the years, the most successful method is often to have the living parent meet alone with his or her children and then to later hold another family meeting with the new stepparent present.

It's easy to see that your stepchildren were close to their birth mother and likely resent you taking her place. This probably wouldn't have happened on such a deep level if family discussions about your entering the family had taken place in advance of you taking on your new role.

Having said that, in your current situation, it is your husband's responsibility to do whatever is necessary to reduce the friction between you and your stepchildren. The most successful stepfamilies are those that continue to communicate rather than simply staying silent and enduring unchecked friction or resentment.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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