DR. WALLACE: I'm writing in reference to the letter from the young teenage girl who was dating a guy twice her age. You told her to find a guy closer to her own age. I disagree. I am 18 and happily married to a man who is 36. We've been married for six months, and I couldn't be more loved by anyone. I was 15 and he was 33 when we first met. Because of our age difference, we had to be extremely secretive when we were dating. Eventually, my parents found out and tried to stop us from seeing one another, but it was too late. We had fallen in love.
You told the young teen to listen to her parents and stop seeing the older guy. If I had listened to my parents, I wouldn't be happily married, living in a condo and driving a nice car. This is 2012, not 1912. People today who think that an age difference is a problem in a relationship should climb out of the dark tunnel they've been trapped in for years. I'm living proof that age difference does not hinder love. — Nameless, Chicago
NAMELESS: I'm very happy that you have a successful marriage and that the age difference between you and your husband has not been a deterrent. I received some letters agreeing with you, but many more agreeing with me. I firmly believe that your husband and you are the exception rather than the rule. I am glad you waited until you were 18 before getting married.
Please read the following letter from Jill who wasn't quite as fortunate as you.
I WAS 15 AND PREGNANT
DR. WALLACE: I'm responding to a letter from the young teen who was dating a much older guy on the sly. When her parents found out, they forbid her to see him. You told her to listen to her parents. That was excellent advice.
My case was almost identical to this one. When I was 13, I fell in love with my next-door neighbor, who happened to be 30. My parents didn't find out about our relationship until I was 15 and pregnant. On my 16th birthday (I was eight months pregnant), I married Rick. It was the worst decision I have ever made.
After the novelty of marriage wore off, I discovered that our interests were far apart. I was still a normal teenager, and he was a mature man dreaming about the day he could retire from his job. I wanted to go out; he wanted to stay home. I liked fast food; he wanted a meat-and-potato meal.
I am now 19 and separated from my husband. We are planning a divorce. I am living at home with my two children and planning to go back to night school and earn my diploma. My husband is a good man, but he should have married a good woman, not a 16-year-old child. We had absolutely nothing but sex in common. — Nameless, Toledo, Ohio
NAMELESS: Any man who enters into a relationship with a 13-year-old girl has a serious mental disorder, and you were too young to realize it. He robbed you of your childhood.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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