DR. WALLACE: I've been dating this guy for two weeks. I like him a lot and I think he likes me, too. My problem is that I can't get him to say much to me. I don't expect him to be a chatterbox, but I also don't want him to be mute. I've been told I should ask him questions, and I do, but all I get are "yes or no" answers. He must be shy or self-conscious and I need to get him to be more outgoing. Help! — Craving conversation, via email
CRAVING: Asking non-talkative people questions is a good way to get them to open up, but you have to be polite, persistent and patient. For starters, don't ask questions that can be answered yes or no. Instead of asking "Do you like pizza?" say, "Pizza and french fries are two of my favorite foods. What foods do you enjoy?" The answers might be short and to the point, but at least they won't be yes or no. If you do continue dating this boy, the more you are with him, the more likely he will feel comfortable eventually to have longer conversations with you. Give him time and space, ask good questions and let him know you truly enjoy his company. I trust he will be comfortable saying more to you soon. In the meantime, remember that patience is a virtue!
WE WANT PROOF
DR. WALLACE: I'm 15, and my older brother is 17, and we live with our mother. Our parents are divorced. Our dad lives in another state, and we are not in contact with him. Recently, my brother has been hanging around with a group that is into heavy metal music. He has dyed his hair and now only wears black clothing. My mother and I both think that he is using drugs, not because of the music or his choice of clothes but because of the way he acts. His eyes are always red and he is always tired. Also, his grades are only average now, but last year he was on the honor roll.
When we ask him about using drugs, he denies it and gets very defensive. If he really is on drugs, he is just starting to use, and we want to get it stopped immediately. How can we tell if he is using drugs? — Nameless, via email
NAMELESS: Tell mom to take your brother to your family doctor for a urine test. It's almost 100 percent accurate. A Monday would be a good time for this test. If he were using drugs, the weekend would be the most logical time for him to "experiment."
STAND UP FOR YOURSELF
DR. WALLACE: I received the B on an algebra test because I missed one out of 10 problems. But the problem that was marked wrong on my test was actually right! I don't know if the teacher or her assistant corrected my paper. Should I show the teacher that my answer to the problem was right? I don't want her to be upset if she graded my paper. — Nameless, via email
NAMELESS: Teachers and their assistants are human and sometimes make mistakes. You earned an A on your algebra test and should be rewarded with an A. Show the teacher your test paper. I'm sure she will happily correct the error and be pleased to see that you really earned an A. Teachers love it when students exhibit high performance on tests. It's a sign they've done their job well.
The bigger lesson here is that if you are certain you're right and an injustice has occurred, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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