DR. WALLACE: I'm a 17-year-old girl and for the first time in several years, I'm free as a bird in flight. Since I started dating at 15, I was always hung up on some guy. I thought if I didn't have a guy, I be an outcast socially. Sure, I want to meet the right guy someday, but that's in the future.
I'm now totally happy not having a guy in my life. I belong to several school organizations, volunteer for a local charity and teach Sunday school. I also spend more time with my girlfriends, and we have good times when we get together. I really don't need some guy coming in and changing my life at this time.
Why do girls feel that having a steady boyfriend is so important? This is a time when we should have the freedom to do, within reason, whatever we want, when we want. After all, most girls will eventually marry and have children and that will be exciting, but it limits freedom.
I'm writing to tell girls to enjoy these years and spend time with a lot of friends. I've done and seen more in the three months I've been "free" than in the prior two years when I was in relationships.
Girls, don't go out with the guy because of peer pressure or to enlarge your ego. Go out with him only if you can't bear to be without him. — Happy, Moline Ill
HAPPY: Thank you for sharing your thoughts. What you say makes a lot of sense!
AN ALLOWANCE IS A GREAT LEARNING TOOL
DR. WALLACE: I'm 20 and recently married a man who is 30 and has custody of his 12-year-old son. The boy's mother moved to Mexico and gave up custody for him to my husband.
We're not hurting financially so we want to start giving him an allowance every week. We are also going to assign him household chores. If he doesn't perform his chores to our satisfaction, should we not give him his allowance for a period of time? I think this is reasonable punishment. My husband is leaving this "problem" for me to solve. — New mom, Bakersfield, Ca
MOM: If family funds are sufficient, I believe all preteens and teens should be provided an allowance. With proper parental guidance, the child learns the value of money, how and when to spend some of it, and how to save for a "rainy day."
I also believe that all preteens and teens should be assigned household chores that can be satisfactory completed, but the allowance and chores should not be tied together. If the chores are not completed, other forms of discipline should be in place. These could include: no use of the telephone or cell phone, shortened curfew, grounding and limited television viewing, for example.
Remember that an allowance, with the proper guidance, is a great learning tool.
ACNE NOT CAUSED BY DIET
TEENS: Every week I receive several inquiries asking me if acne is caused by eating certain foods such as french fries, or especially, chocolate. I've answered this question numerous times and the the answer is always the same:
Food, including chocolate and greasy junk foods, does not cause complexion problems. This information comes directly from the American Academy of Dermatology. But a well-balanced, nutritious diet can help skin to be more vibrant and healthy.
It is important for teens to see a dermatologist if the breakout occurs. Research scientists have produced affective products that are very effective in reducing or totally eliminating complexion problems.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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