DR. WALLACE: I'm a 16-year-old who will turn 17 within two months. I'd like to comment on the advice you gave a girl who, after graduating, wanted to ask a former teacher out on a date. You advised her not to. I was shocked at your response.
Ever since I was in the seventh grade I've had a crush on one of my teachers. My mother told me at the time that I would forget all about him when I got to high school and started dating boys my own age. Well, I'm now in high school and I've dated guys my own age, but my crush on this particular teacher has grown into what I now call a full-fledged love.
I still see this teacher on campus often, and we discuss many things. When I graduate from high school, I plan to have a relationship with this teacher. And why not? He is a superb human being. He is friendly, down to earth, respectful, single and available. I'm sure he would accept my invitation.
Dr. Wallace, aren't you aware that true love conquers all? — Nameless, via email
NAMELESS: Teachers have a moral obligation not to get involved romantically with their students, and those who do are subject to termination.
When a teacher gets romantically involved with a former student who has left high school, no action by school authorities can be taken, but the teaching profession still "frowns" on this type of relationship.
I'm also aware that some students mistakenly take a teacher's concern for them as a signal that romance is forthcoming. That could very well be the case with your former teacher.
SIGNS OF A DRINKING PROBLEM
DR. WALLACE: I'm 20, and in love with a beautiful young lady. Someday soon I would like her to be my wife. We have been dating now for over a year, and we have shared many great times together. Life is easy and comfortable with her, especially since we have so much in common.
There is one thing that is emerging as a major challenge to my "plan." My love has told me that she'd marry me if I stopped drinking. Actually, I learned to drink responsibly when I was 17. My parents encouraged me to drink at home and not when going out with friends. Now that I'm older, I do take a few drinks when I am out with friends, but I rarely get out of control. I do not have a drinking problem, so how can I best convince my sweetheart that this should not have any impact on our future plans to build a life together? — Nameless, via email
NAMELESS: The National Drug Awareness Program says a person has a drinking problem if signs from the following list are prevalent.
Do you:
1. Have an inability to control your drinking? (Meaning that regardless of what you decide beforehand, you often wind up drinking too much.)
2. Use alcohol to escape your money problems?
3. Change from your normal character into the person who is the "life of the party?"
4. Change from a Dr. Jekyll personality into Mr. Hyde? (Changing from a basically respectful, agreeable personality to one that is aggressive and oftentimes nasty when drunk.)
5. Have a high tolerance level for alcohol and the ability to outdrink everyone at a party?
6. Have blackouts or an occasional inability to remember what happened when you were drinking?
7. Have problems in school or at work because of excessive alcohol consumption?
8. Hear words of concern from family members and friends about your drinking?
If you answered yes to even one of the above questions, you'd be a better person if you eliminated alcohol from your life! You are most likely not a problem drinker if all of your answers to these questions can be honestly answered "no." I suggest you find a quiet, comfortable time to sit down with your girlfriend and show her this list. Perhaps the two of you together can hold a constructive conversation on this topic and come to a mutually agreeable decision.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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