DR. WALLACE: The guy I'm dating is a nice guy and we have had great fun, but lately he has become sexually aggressive — so much so that I have threatened to call my dad and to have him take me home. When we first started dating, he told me he only wanted to date a virgin (I told him that I had never been sexually involved) and that his wife had to be a virgin. Since I didn't plan to have sex, I was happy that he had this philosophy.
After about a month of being an "honorable" guy, he started doing and saying things that had sexual overtones. First he started telling me sexually oriented jokes. Then he went to sexually oriented movies. Then one night when on a date with me he went into a drugstore and bought a package of condoms. Then he opened the box and pulled one out and asked me if I had ever seen one before.
Then he said that I had better get used to seeing them because we were going to start a "beautiful sexual adventure."
I couldn't believe what I was seeing and hearing. On our next date, he said he had enough money to pay for a motel room so we could start our "adventure." I told him that I wasn't going to have sex with him, so he got angry and took me home.
A day later he called and apologized for his aggressive behavior and said that he wanted to continue seeing me again. But now I'm not sure that I can trust him to behave himself. I like the guy, but I'm not in love with him. What should I do? —Nameless Oakland, Ca.
NAMELESS: Don't go out with him again. He is a 100 percent loser!
TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS
DR. WALLACE: Michael and I have been dating for almost 6 months. I thought that he was "The One." He was everything I ever wanted in a guy. It appears that he didn't have the same feelings for me. Two weeks ago, he told me that we would longer be going out because he wanted to date another girl.
I have never been more depressed in my entire life. I've tried to forget him, but that's impossible. I've been spending all my time in my room studying, but I am still very sad. Any help that you can provide to get my life back on track will be appreciated. — Nameless, via email
NAMELESS: Believe it or not, time is on your side. Right now you are still feeling emotional pain, but just as a physical wound eventually heals, this emotional pain shall eventually heal as well.
It will take time, however, and in the meantime, spend some social time with your close friends and feel free to mention to them that you feel sad over your breakup. Good friends will aim to keep you busy socializing with them and this, in turn, will lift your spirits. Time heals all wounds, eventually. Allow yourself to grieve for a while but seek to become active again in your social circles as soon as possible.
Chances are you will ultimately benefit from this experience and find yourself dating again when the time is right for your personal situation. I trust there is someone better suited for you for the long run, and each day from now you are one day closer to meeting "him"!
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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