DR. WALLACE: I read your column and I find it very helpful in helping me raise my teenage daughter. I'm a single mom and I want the very best for her. I don't want her to fall into the same traps I did when I was a teen.

I'm troubled by the number of teens who contemplate suicide or who have acquaintances who were considering ending their lives because they couldn't cope with all of their problems. This shocks me. With their entire life ahead of them, what would cause these young people to seek suicide? I could understand that suicide happens when someone is old or sick, but not young and healthy. Can you tell me? — Mom, Michigan City, Ind.

MOM: I was introduced to a booklet called "Adolescent Suicide," published by Boys Town, which provides useful information on teen suicide.

The teen years can be trying and painful times. Teens are striving to establish their identity and operate independently; they are maturing both physically and emotionally and developing the capacity to form loving relationships. At this time, more than ever, they need the guidance and stability of their parents. Unfortunately, family instability is on the rise and some teens must cope with overwhelming problems entirely on their own.

Parents may also contribute to teen suicide by making impossible demands on them, then rejecting them for failing to live up to these expectations. In some cases, the teen feels completely worthless.

According to the booklet, family problems — such as the death of a close relative, divorce, child abuse, or a parent's alcoholism or drug abuse — are the most common underlying causes of teen suicide. Any of these conditions can add to a teen's confusion, loneliness and depression.

Researchers at the University of Southern California interviewed some 6,000 teens who had attempted suicide, then compared their life histories with those of a group of teens who had never thought of suicide. The researchers discovered that the self-destructive teens had a much higher percentage of parents who had divorced, separated, or remarried within the past five years. In some cases, multiple separations — with the child shunted from relatives to foster homes, failing to get an adult's consistent guidance and support - deprived teens of love and a feeling of being wanted, which every child needs.

The study traced the path of self-destruction from family problems to a second stage: school failures, truancy, loneliness and depression. In the third and final stage, the teen tries to fasten onto someone. This relationship is so clinging, so smothering, that it can't last. When this fails, the teen is left feeling abandoned, hopeless and isolated. The teen feels that there is only one solution left: self-destruction.

I know that being a single parent and wanting the very best for a child is a challenging task. But this task is made much easier when unconditional love, open communication, and honesty is shared equally between parent and child.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.