DR. WALLACE: About two years ago, my grandmother came to live with us after she got a divorce from her second husband. Ever since she moved in, my life has been miserable.

Let me assure you, this grandmother is not typical. I'm 16, my mom is 33, and my grandmother is a fashionable and hip 49-year-old who looks 10 years younger. She wants to be introduced as my aunt! Even at home she doesn't want to be called anything that will identify her as a grandmother. She wants to be called Nan. (Her name is really Evelyn.)

She makes my life miserable because she dislikes everything I like. She hates my clothes, my makeup, hairstyle, and choice of perfume. She finds fault with my choice of friends, both male and female, and even my pet. I've got a cat and she hates cats, loves dogs.

My mother is no help because Nan overpowers her. My dad is useless because, if he tries to help me, both of them jump on him. I try to ignore her, but that's hard to do.

I guess I could say that I love her, but I know for a fact that I would love her more if she didn't live with us. Let me put it another way. The farther away she lived, the more I would love her. — Nameless, St. Petersburg, Fla.

NAMELESS: It looks like grandmother, excuse me, "Aunt Nan," has burrowed in and will remain a "house guest" until she finds another husband, and that might not be so soon.

I know it's aggravating to hear, but what Nan thinks of the way you live your life is none of her concern. As long as your parents approve, that's all that matters.

Don't ignore your Aunt Nan, but pay no attention to her comments. When she offers unsolicited advice, just smile and allow it to go "in one ear and out the other."

WHY WOULD A STEPMOTHER BE SO CRUEL?

DR. WALLACE: I am 18 and have two younger sisters. The youngest is 15. Our parents were divorced when I was 9 and my dad remarried soon after. After he remarried, my sisters and I used to visit him every Saturday afternoon for about four hours. As time went by, the visitations dwindled to once every two weeks, once a month, once every two months, and finally, once a year.

In front of my dad, his new wife was very sweet and charming, but behind his back she was cruel and wicked. Even though our father lives about 30 miles away, my sisters and I haven't seen him for more than three years. We love him very much and can't understand why his wife won't allow him to see us. Our dad has a 4-year-old son and we have never even seen him.

Why would a stepmother be so cruel as to deny her husband the pleasure of seeing his own flesh and blood? — Angry, Boise, Idaho.

ANGRY: The fault may or may not lie with your stepmother, but ultimately it was your father's responsibility to maintain his relationship with you - and bring your half-brother into your lives. When an adult fails to act responsibly, the children may have to take matters into their own hands and do what needs to be done.

Call Dad and try to set up a get-together. If you have an adult relative who might be able to persuade Dad to do right by his daughters, talk to that person first. It's important that contact is made. It's also possible that Dad may be under the impression that his daughters don't want to see him.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.