DR. WALLACE: I had an unusual experience recently, one that didn't turn out well for me financially. A good friend of mine who attends my college had a cousin visit her from out of state, and all three of us girls had lunch together because the cousin was interested in the nursing field, and I already have developed some work experience in that field, plus my university studies are in the nursing field.

My close friend and I always alternate paying for lunches with each other, and we're both extremely fair to each other. On the day the cousin sat down with us and had lunch at a restaurant in our local mall, it was my turn to buy for my friend, so I just picked up the tab for all three of us without saying anything to her cousin.

The cousin later requested to have a one-on-one meeting with me for a few hours to discuss more details she was interested in, and I agreed. She recommended a more upscale restaurant adjacent to the same mall, and I agreed to meet her there the next day to help her and answer her questions.

The meeting went fine, and I gave my time to her, but when it was time to pay the bill, she never made any movement toward paying the check! Finally, when I looked at the check, I suggested we split it, even though she ordered a very expensive entree and a large appetizer. She did share a few bites of the appetizer with me, but she ate easily 80% or more of it herself!

Anyhow, when I brought up the payment, she apologized and told me she didn't have the ability to pay for the meal and that she thought I was independently wealthy or that my family was wealthy because I paid for all three meals the last time!

I was pretty shocked, but I kept my cool. I took out a credit card, paid for the meal and left a gratuity for the server, who did a good job.

Should I ask my close friend to have her cousin reimburse me for at least 50% of the lavish meal she ate while I was volunteering my time to help her out? I find it hard to believe I was doing her a favor and she expected me to buy her an expensive meal on top of everything else. — Her Cousin Is Clever or Clueless, via email

HER COUSIN IS CLEVER OR CLUELESS: Rather than specifically requesting the money you spent back, perhaps tell your close friend that you have an amusing story to tell her about her cousin.

Proceed to mention exactly what happened, but do it in a calm and matter-of-fact tone of voice. Mention that you definitely helped her during the meeting, and you found it ironic that she wasn't prepared to pay for any food at all, so you actually incurred expenses in helping her. But say that it's all right for a one-off experience, as you're sure down the road someone will do something nice for you and things will balance themselves out.

By mentioning it to your close friend, this will at least alert her as to what went on with her cousin, and she can be the ultimate arbiter of whether her cousin is clever, clueless or perhaps both. And in one form or another, I have a hunch your good friend will find a way to make it up to you.

MY PASSION FOR THIS MUSEUM WAS CUT SHORT

DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who loves to learn, and my passion is travel and getting to know about other cultures. I'm also really big on local arts, dance and cuisine. Since I'm still a high school student, I can't really travel much abroad at this point in my life, but I do love visiting museums and seeing movies or films that shed light on these things that interest me.

I invited a female friend of mine recently to go to an international museum about 30 minutes away from our hometown, so we made a planned trip on a Saturday to go together. However, even though I was beyond fascinated, my friend started getting bored after about an hour of being there. Then 15 minutes later, she kept nagging me to go get some lunch with her and to visit some local malls to see what kind of stores they had.

I felt really shortchanged by my friend, because I could've definitely used another hour and a half to two hours at that museum, but to keep the peace I allowed myself to cut the visit short on her behalf. Did I do the right thing, or should I have pushed her harder to stay there at least another hour with me? — I Felt Shortchanged, via email

I FELT SHORTCHANGED: My opinion is that it's not worth arguing about or pushing someone in a situation like that. You did the right thing just chalking it up to experience and moving on to another activity she could handle.

Life is about learning new things, and you learned a valuable lesson about the interpersonal dynamic with this particular female friend of yours.

You now know that she's either oblivious or self-centered because she surely knew you were really looking forward to visiting this particular museum. Yet she allowed her boredom to cut your experience short, whether she did it intentionally or not.

You now have the experience to know not to involve her in a similar situation going forward, and should you plan another trip to this particular museum in the future, I trust you'll be able to carefully vet and select a person who would enjoy the experience in a similar fashion that you would, and who would be willing to commit an ample amount of time to soak up the entire experience.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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