DR. WALLACE: As a senior in high school, I'm seriously working on my daily life, my philosophy in my medium and long-term goals.

I've decided on my career path and have already submitted my applications to the handful of colleges I feel would best support my future.

So my question to you is not about the big picture, but rather any encouragement, philosophies or ideas you may have for me while I grind out the days, weeks and months to come in pursuing my goals. — Focused On My Future, via email

FOCUSED ON MY FUTURE: Congratulations on making some large life decisions and being so proactive in pursuing your future. It's always great to see young people, especially teenagers, engaged in life and as self-directed as possible.

My philosophy is that every individual has a far larger influence over his or her life than they might realize.

Therefore, it makes sense to be boldly confident until circumstances direct you to course-correct. That will happen, but sometimes great things come out of those corrections. Finally, I would advise you to make it a personal mantra to strive to see the best in every individual you meet. Don't make up your mind about anyone in advance based on what others may tell you. You would appreciate this from others meeting you for the first time, so make this a hallmark and it'll pay great dividends over your lifetime.

For a female perspective, Dr. Shalini Shah, the president of the Orange County, Medical Association, also has excellent and interesting life advice to share. Dr. Shah's philosophy is that "The effort you put in today may not pay off immediately, but it will pay off at some point in your career. Continue to invest in yourself and in learning. Do what makes you happy, continue to expand and grow, be a good citizen to others, and everything will fall into place."

I know great advice when I see it, and these words from Shah are most worthy of incorporating into your own life.

MOM REGULARLY EMBARRASSES ME!

DR. WALLACE: I'm a teenage girl who is constantly being embarrassed by my mom in public. As a single mother, she's very bold, which I respect, but at times I feel she takes it too far.

I could give you a big, long list of all the things she does in public that embarrass me, but I'll limit it to just two things so you can get the idea. Whenever we travel, as the plane levels off, she immediately insists on moving her seat into the full reclined position! More than once, I have heard grumblings of the passengers behind us and seen their agitated faces as they walked down the aisle later.

Another example is that whenever we go to a music show, she'll stand up in her seat from the first song to the last! Sometimes the band is playing a ballad and everybody sits down, but not my mom. People get agitated. Is there anything I can do to get her to not embarrass me like this? She has many other fine qualities, but she often rubs people the wrong way in public. — My Mom Embarrasses Me in Public, via email

MY MOM EMBARRASSES ME IN PUBLIC: Your mother sounds to me like a confident, independent woman. She likely works hard, and when she has free time, she wants to feel comfortable and chart her course with the activities she prefers.

Might I suggest that it's not that she does these things, necessarily, but that she could do them more politely? For example, she could communicate with those around her on airplanes about when she is reclining her seat or try reclining it only halfway.

You might suggest to your mother that she simply address her actions upfront in a comfortable tone of voice to avoid any unhappy glares.

At music shows, the same courtesy can apply. If your seats are near an aisle, sometimes people will briefly exchange seats with you so that you can stand and adjust your body slightly into the aisle, so as not to block the view of the person behind you. However, there are times when the majority will stand to enjoy the music and dance along with the rhythm of the show.

These are not bad things that your mother is doing, but a little bit of courtesy in advance may go a long way to maintaining rapport with those around you — and her!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website atwww.creators.com.

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