I'm 17 and just found out that I am pregnant. People have always considered me to be an overly responsible goody-two-shoes, and so I finally decided to take some risks in my life and have some fun during my senior year of high school. I guess I must have terrible luck because this is what happened as a result of the couple of times I decided to finally "cut loose."

Now I'm finding myself incredibly embarrassed and ashamed about this situation. I don't know how to tell anyone, as this is so unlike me, and I've already been accepted into an Ivy League college that I'm supposed to start at in the fall.

I'm in shock, and I don't know how to handle this major curveball that life has thrown at me, or to be more accurate, that I have thrown to myself. What am I supposed to do now? — In Really Hot Water Now, via email

IN REALLY HOT WATER NOW: I suggest that you go to the people in your life that you trust the most and sit down and discuss this with them as a starting point. For many young ladies your age this might be parents, but for some, it may be a trusted aunt, grandmother or close family friend.

Know that there are options and resources available to you. You have a lot to think about and many important life decisions to make. At this point, don't look back; rather, look forward and gather as many facts and as much intelligence about your options as you can.

There are professional organizations that can and will be happy to assist and counsel you. Your medical professional might be a person you'd benefit from speaking in depth with as well.

Only you know how you feel right now, but my advice is start building a network of advisers around you immediately. Your situation is not unique; many young ladies go through it and although this was not part of your original plan, you can take comfort in knowing that others before you have made good, even if difficult, decisions and taken control of their lives in various ways that they felt was best for their own unique situation.

Don't deal with this alone for another single day. Think long and hard about who you'd like to approach first, and then take the steps necessary to begin this journey, hopefully with compassionate guidance that will put your best interests first. In the end, you'll make a huge decision, but know that you won't go into it alone.

I FEEL SO DISCONNECTED

DR. WALLACE: I am 17 years old and still have no social media on my cellphone. Everyone I know has apps like Snapchat, Instagram, and TikTok besides me, it seems. This makes me feel so left out and super uninvolved with most of my friends.

At school, people talk about things they see on social media and have jokes about them, but I never am included because I don't have it. I understand that my parents want the best for me in not allowing me to have it but at points I feel so disconnected with everyone and everything going on around me.

I've considered making accounts behind my parents' backs, but also tell myself that in a year I can finally have it. Since I can't decide right now either way what to do, I'd like to ask you for your opinion. — Disconnected Girl, via email

DISCONNECTED GIRL: Thank you for writing to me before taking actions you're unsure of either way. I can appreciate that you feel left out in certain areas, but I'd also like to ask you: What areas of your life do you feel really well connected with?

You mentioned friends in your letter, so let's start there. You likely have a wide array of common interests that go well beyond certain social media applications, so focus on the other areas you enjoy with your friends. Most of what kids laugh at on these videos are similar to "empty calories" in that they don't mean much, don't help us much and often are a diversion and distraction from the things that are truly important in life.

I agree with your hesitation about going behind your parents' backs and sneaking apps onto your phone without their knowledge. I heartily advise you to not do this. Once you break trust like this, it's impossible to get it back. You might never get caught, but you will always know what you did and that will hang on your conscience forever.

Someday you might become a parent yourself and if and when you do, I trust your perspective will change from the one you presently have now.

Your letter indicated that you'll be an adult within a year, and that at 18 you can make your own decisions. Follow that path. Each day you'll be closer to becoming an adult. But on your birthday, don't download the apps right away. Instead, allow yourself to look at a few videos on your friends' phones first. You might find that these videos are actually not important enough to trade your privacy in order to view them.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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