DR. WALLACE: One of my good friends left town several months ago to live with her married sister and her brother-in-law in order to get rid of her boyfriend. She emailed me that she would fill me in with the details later.

I finally heard back from her, and she said that her boyfriend was abusing her emotionally. I really am not sure what that means. Tell me, what constitutes as emotional abuse within a romantic interpersonal relationship? — Curious Friend, via email

CURIOUS FRIEND: Emotional abuse can take many forms: verbal attacks, belittlement, controlling time, controlling wardrobe, controlling travel, limiting interactions with others, jealousy and threatening physical violence.

For a female, this can mean a male significant other refuses to let her spend much time with her close friends or talk to other guys. Perhaps he forces her to keep a cellphone on her person so he can check on her whereabouts any time, anywhere.

When emotional abuse becomes an ongoing pattern rather than a one-time exception, the relationship should end.

It's too bad that your good friend had to escape town to extricate her from the relationship. It's her boyfriend who should have exited the scene voluntarily, but, sadly, abusers rarely do this.

TEEN HAS EARNED SOME FREEDOM

DR. WALLACE: I was born and raised in Ohio. When I was 13, I started hanging around with the wrong crowd. When I was 15, I really started acting bad and got into some trouble. This has haunted me and caused me to think poorly of myself.

Now I'm 16, and our family has moved to Oklahoma. Things have changed for the better. I've straightened out, and now I'm even on the high school honor roll.

But because of my mistakes in Ohio, my parents have grounded me for at least this whole school year and this upcoming summer. I'm not allowed to have any dates or go to school-sponsored activities, even after our country goes back to normal. I love my parents, but I wish I could earn a little freedom. Do you think I deserve to have fun, or is this punishment fair? What do you think about my situation? — Problem Child, via email

IMPROVING TEEN: First of all, I commend you for getting your life straightened out. You signed your letter "problem child," but I am now addressing you as "improving teen" since that is truly who you are today. One of the most important aspects of any developing teen's life is a healthy self-image. Yes, you may have made mistakes in your past, but you have been given a clean start in a new area, and you are now making the most of it. Keep your current status in your mind, and forgive yourself for your past mistakes.

I also give you a big yes when it comes to your freedom. You deserve and need time to yourself. I feel you should be allowed to attend some school-related activities whenever your school meets again in person.

Let's hope your parents will see it my way soon and that they will give you the trust you have earned — as long as you continue to behave responsibly. The best news on that front is that you control your actions and words, and you've learned quite a bit at the young age of 16. Make the most of your experiences by staying determined to continue on your current path in life.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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