DR. WALLACE: I used to believe that girls and boys should be treated as equals in everything, but now I'm not so sure. Up until a month ago, I was taking karate lessons, and I was the only girl in my class. I thought it was going well until I found out the boys were taking it easy on me because I'm a girl. I didn't like that, so I asked be treated like everyone else in the class. So then they treated me as an equal, but it turned out to be no fun and sometimes even painful.

Now I'm really confused. Should I ask to be treated like a girl when I am able to do karate again? If I do, I will likely go back to "winning" hollow victories. But if I elect to continue to be treated like "one of the guys," I know I will then have to suck it up and suffer the consequences. Which road do you feel is better for me to take, and why? — Karate Girl, via email

KARATE GIRL: Hollow victories are a waste of time! Asked to be treated like all the others students taking karate lessons. But I would advise you to ask your instructor to make sure your karate partners are similar to you in size. You might then find this sport more enjoyable.

However, if your karate lessons turn out to be painful, stop taking them, and find an activity that brings you joy and satisfaction without physical pain.

The good news is that if you do elect to move on from karate, you can wind down gradually and ask to work individually with your instructor to be sure you've effectively learned and maintained all of the most important self-defense aspects of this sport. This way, you will be sure to receive a valuable return on the time (and your family's money) spent on karate lessons, and you will have the skills to defend yourself, should you ever need them.

STAY CALM, AND GIVE THIS A TRY

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17, and although I'm not an angel, I've never done anything really, seriously bad.

Two months ago, my parents went to a community "drug awareness" meeting. I guess they were told what signs to look for if their teen is taking drugs. Now I feel like a convict in prison instead of a teen living at home. And since my parents and I are quarantined during this time of the COVID-19 virus, they are constantly searching my room, asking me a bunch of questions like, "Why are your eyes red? Why are you always tired? Why are you only getting a C in most of your classes? Were you hanging around kids who use drugs?"

I keep telling them I'm not on drugs and neither are any of my friends, but this doesn't seem to satisfy them. Sometimes, I feel like trying drugs to see what the fuss is all about. The way I look at it, if my parents both think I'm a druggie, I may as well be one, right?

The only problem with this last idea is that I don't know anyone who actually supplies drugs and, of course, my school is closed down now, so I can't ask around to see who might have some.

I guess I don't really want to do drugs, but I am beyond fed up with the incessant snooping and condescending comments my parents are hitting me with daily. My father, in particular, has been very moody ever since his office closed and he's had to work from home. — Falsely Accused, via email

FALSELY ACCUSED: Your parents are apparently under stress and likely going through a phase in their "raising a family" responsibility. The community drug meeting had caused them to overreact, and now with your entire family at home, they are in your presence all day — which puts much more of their attention on you than normal. I trust that, in time, they will return to a less agitated state, but this may take time, given the present circumstance of the pandemic.

My advice is to do your best to stay calm and neither engage in nor escalate any unpleasant discussions or accusations. In a calm voice, tell your parents you are not involved with drugs and you have absolutely no plans to do so. I suggest you say something along the lines of, "I do really appreciate that you care so much and are looking out for me." Then, walk over and give each of your parents a hug.

If you are able to do this, I trust there will be a positive paradigm shift in your family that would greatly reduce the tension.

And I would be remiss if I did not also say that trying drugs just to spite your mom and dad would be a very stupid move (as I'm sure you are aware.) Do not consider this any more. Trust me, spite is never the right answer to any challenge you face.

If your parents continue their strenuous drug watch, perhaps a discussion about your problem with your school counselor may be helpful, once you physically go back to school. Sometimes, an outside professional can get parents back to thinking rationally rather than emotionally. However, the remainder of this school year will likely be completed online, so for now, I stand by my advice of staying calm, thanking your parents for their concern and giving each of them a sincere, warm hug.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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