DR. WALLACE: When our son was in our local 4-H club, one of the team leaders was a pathologist at our local hospital. This doctor arranged a field trip every year to the county morgue. There the boys learned, in a very respectful way, what his job entails.

These boys and I were showed different organs and the changes that occur when certain diseases attack. The lungs of a smoker are a particularly eye-opening sight. Even those who chose not to smoke but were exposed to the long-term effects of secondhand smoke experienced great harm to their lungs.

This learning experience, although it may be considered morbid by many, really had a visual impact that the boys didn't seem forget. My son told me a few years later that when a classmate offered him a cigarette, he refused to take even one puff. He told me he couldn't get the thought of the sights he had seen in the morgue years earlier out of his mind. — Nonsmoking Mother, Pasadena, California

NONSMOKING MOTHER: The information provided on this field trip likely caused teens who might have been tempted to try smoking to rethink their decisions and ultimately avoid a tobacco addiction. That is a very good thing, as smoking is an extremely bad habit. There are myriad reasons not to smoke, but I cannot think of one good reason to start smoking.

In the many years I've been writing this column, I've had thousands of teens asked for advice about the very best method to quit smoking. I have yet to have one teen contact me to inquire about the best way to start a tobacco habit.

The last sentence is very true and speaks volumes about his topic. For anyone reading this who cares about a teen, feel free to share this fact. It might just be the deterrent that saves a teen from starting an unhealthy lifelong habit.

DEDUCTIVE REASONING CAN HELP

DR. WALLACE: You stated that parents shouldn't use the line "because I wasn't allowed that when I was your age" to deny a child's request. I disagree completely! Parents are the boss and in full charge. What they say must go!

Whenever I tell my children "because I didn't get to do that when I was your age," that's all there is to it. If my children utter one word of whining after they've been told this, they get put on restriction for a full week. Believe me, whenever I use of my favorite phrases, like "because I said so," "because I didn't get to do that" or "because that's the way I want it," it's very, very effective. Just ask my kids if you don't believe me. — Mother in Charge, via email

MOTHER IN CHARGE: I do agree that parents are the boss and need to be in control of their children, but I also believe there are many ways to be an effective parent. While the "because I said so, because I didn't get to do that at your age, etc." philosophy apparently works well with your children to get them to immediately follow directions, the children miss the benefit of a deeper explanation.

"Because I couldn't" or "because I said so" seem like shortcut methods of last resort, when a parent may be too tired or too impatient to explain the situation further.

I've found over the years that nearly all children respond better to disappointment if they have a bit of a "deductive reasoning" explanation rather than just being told to comply without questioning the command.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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