DR. WALLACE: I have two very close friends. We've been friends since the first grade, and we are now 16. About five months ago, one of these friends was introduced to alcohol by her boyfriend. They are now no longer dating, but she has continued drinking. She gets it from her parents' stash of beer and wine. Of course they're not aware that she is taking their alcohol.
About a month ago, she convinced our other friend to start drinking, and now they are both drinkers. I was invited to join in, but I'm strong-willed and told them thanks, but no thanks.
Last week, my mother found out that my friends were drinking regularly. When we discussed it, I told her that, yes, my friends did drink but that I didn't drink and was not tempted by their behavior. Immediately my mom overreacted and told me to quit hanging around with these friends and to find new ones. Of course, I don't want to do this. I convinced my mom to let me write to you and get your opinion before she makes her final decision. I hope you will see my point of view. — Nameless, Okla.
NAMELESS: Peer pressure is powerful. Several prominent studies indicate that, on average, a regular drinker convinces three other individuals to try alcohol as well. Therefore, I agree with your mom: You should find new friends who share your non-drinking philosophy. Right now you're outnumbered 2-to-1, and I doubt that your friends will be satisfied until you join them for some beer or wine. Drinkers usually dislike drinking alone.
KITTY WILL BE MORE YOURS THAN HERS
DR. WALLACE: Several years ago, one of your columns said every teen that wanted a pet should get one, preferably from an animal shelter. My then-14-year-old daughter wanted a cat for a pet, so she picked one out of the shelter. She took good care of him, had him fixed and took him regularly to the vet. She loves him.
But recently, my daughter, now 19, has joined the Navy, and I have to take care of a cat I never really wanted. I don't care for cats, and now I'm stuck with one. Please don't say all teens that want a pet should have one. What happens when the teen leaves home and the parent is left to care for the pet? — Mother, Austin, Texas
MOTHER: Pets are wonderful creatures that can bring much joy to a family. Your daughter can attest to that. Give the cat a chance to bring some of that same joy into your life. It may take a while, but once you want to begin to understand each other, the two of you will bond. When your daughter returns home, she may discover that kitty is more yours and hers, but I'm sure she'll be happy for you.
LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER
DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and engaged to a wonderful guy who is 31. I love him dearly, and he loves me. I met him at a friend's wedding a year ago, and I guess you could say it was love at first sight. He made my life complete. I thank the good Lord every day for allowing me to meet him. And to think, I almost didn't go to the wedding because I had minor touch of the flu that day.
My problem is, you guessed it, my parents. They are upset I'm marrying a guy 12 years my senior. They keep telling me I'll be a young 48 when he's an old 60. They also tell me that statistics show I will be a widow for 15 to 20 years. Yesterday, my older sister (who sides with my parents) made the remark that if my fiance and I have children, he can be their father and grandfather at the same time. My entire family started laughing out loud.
I don't see this 12-year age difference as any kind of a problem. He feels the same way. I've been reading your columns ever since I was in the eighth grade, and I feel you give fair answers. I also need moral support. Regardless of what my family thinks, we are indeed getting married later this year. He is a college graduate and works as a sales representative for a major company. I work full-time as a receptionist in a doctor's office. Please give me your opinion of my situation. — Emma, Sandy Springs, Ga.
EMMA: Age difference is less important when both parties are over 18. Marry your guy and live happily ever after. It sounds like you both have excellent jobs and a good life together. It will take time, but your family will realize that true love overcomes many obstacles.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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