DR. WALLACE: My parents are very strict about whom I date and where we go on a date. I'm 17, and sometimes I feel that they treat me like a young child. My mother is caught up with making sure I never get involved sexually with a guy. I always get little lectures about staying a virgin (I am one) whenever I go out with a guy.
We are a highly religious family, so I, too, firmly believe that sex should be saved for marriage. Sometimes it bugs me that I keep getting these pep talks to stay pure. It's almost like she thinks that, if she doesn't remind me to avoid sex, I'm going out to become sexually intimate.
Well, guess what? Last night I was going through some papers looking for my Social Security card when I stumbled upon my parents' marriage license. They were married in March 2000, and I was born in July 2000. This means my mom was already pregnant when she married my dad. This was a complete shock to me. My parents are the most God-fearing couple on this planet.
Should I confront my mom with this tasty bit of information the next time she encourages me to stay pure, or should I file it away to use at a later date if necessary? Don't get me wrong. I love my parents dearly. They have been wonderful parents, but in this case they didn't practice what they now preach to me. — Purity, Bible Belt, USA
PURITY: I don't recommend filing away this "tasty bit of info" to be used to your advantage at a later date. That's playing a mean little game — hardly befitting a young woman who considers herself religious.
What matters most, of course, is that your parents are outstanding now in your eyes, but I can understand being disconcerted by the news of their date of marriage. Talk to them about it. Bring it out in the open — not angrily or judgmentally, but with honesty and maturity. Your parents cannot effectively guide your behavior without first coming clean about their own.
I DON'T LIKE PHYSICAL EDUCATION
DR. WALLACE: I'm forced to take physical education in school, and I hate it. I'm not coordinated, and I'm terrible at sports. Why are we required to take PE? I think I'd be better off if I took a math or science class during that time instead. That would help me a lot more toward my future than running around in a pair of shorts looking stupid. — Embarrassed, New York, N.Y.
EMBARRASSED: The idea of physical fitness as a part of overall well-being dates back at least to the ancient Greeks and Romans. There is also a famous Latin expression that translates to "a strong mind in a strong body." PE is a valuable part of a well-rounded education. It teaches students the importance of keeping their bodies physically fit. You don't have to have aspirations of becoming an athlete to value learning how to care for and exercise your body. Focus more on the physical benefits your body gains during this time and less on the exploits of the others around you. Run your own race at your own pace!
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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