DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and in the 10th grade. The guy I am seeing is 19, has graduated from high school and is a full-time student in college. I met him at a restaurant. He was our waiter and asked me for my phone number after the meal. I gave it to him and the rest is history.
My parents are not happy with this relationship because of our age difference. Our age difference is not a problem to us, because we are emotionally in tune. Age is just a number. We are extremely fond of each other and are thinking of a future together.
My own parents met when my mom was 19 and my dad was 23, and they have been married over 20 years. My parents have a four-year age difference, so why is our four-year difference such a problem? — Maria, Placentia, Calif.
MARIA: When both members of a couple have turned 18 and are no longer in high school, chronological age diminishes in importance. But the four-year age difference from 15 to 19 is significant in terms of physical, social and emotional maturity.
I'm aware that you feel comfortable in your relationship with this boy, but I agree with your parents that the age difference is a bit too great now.
I LIVED A SHELTERED LIFE
DR. WALLACE: I read in a teen magazine that ecstasy is the most popular drug used at rave parties. I live in a modestly sized town, and I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't know what ecstasy is and I've never heard of a rave party. Please tell me. I'm 14 years old and live a very sheltered life. — Curious, Marion, Iowa
CURIOUS: Don't be embarrassed. It would be great if no one knew about ecstasy and rave parties.
Ecstasy is a synthetic hallucinogenic drug and is popular with drug users because of its ample availability and low price. Constant use of ecstasy can cause brain damage. Any use can cause anxiety, nausea, sweating, teeth clenching and muscle cramping, and in some cases, even death.
Raves are late-night parties held in barns, warehouses or other abandoned structures that can hold a large group of people. Besides dancing, drug use (including ecstasy) is prevalent at rave parties.
You would be extremely wise to avoid being anywhere near such a gathering.
A RUNNER'S HIGH IS THE ULTIMATE HIGH
DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and in the process of turning my life around. A year ago I was a total loser. I was deep into the drug scene and tried to take my own life. I almost succeeded. I was rushed to a hospital, and when I recovered I was placed in a psychiatric ward. It was there that I learned to take responsibility for my life.
I am now back in high school. I don't get great grades, but I am learning how to study for the very first time, and I do get C's and pass all of my classes.
I have never been a good athlete, but I want to start running so someday I can run a marathon race. One of my counselors at the psychiatric ward assured me that a runner's high was the ultimate high. I'm eager to give it a try, but want to be cautious after all I've been through. Do I need to see a doctor first? — Nameless, Olathe, Kansas
NAMELESS: First of all, I'm very proud of you. Congratulations! You are now on the right track.
Most young people under 30 years old who are healthy and have no specific medical problems usually do not need a checkup before starting a moderate running program. But given your background, it would be wise to visit your doctor for a brief checkup before you get started. When you do begin, I have the following suggestions aimed at getting you off to a good start:
1. Your equipment can be anything you have, except when it comes to shoes. Make sure you wear running shoes that fit you properly. Running shoes are designed to have thick, spongy soles and arch supports that will take the strain off of your knees.
2. If possible, run on grass or a track instead of hard surfaces.
3. Before you run, warm up with light exercises and stretching.
4. Undertake this new endeavor slowly and steadily at first. Increase your distances gradually over time. Stamina is best achieved gradually.
5. Don't expect the feeling of exhilaration, the "runner's high," until you reach the point at which you can run several miles without feeling tired. It will take you time to build up to this level, but when you finally do, it will be most worthwhile!
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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