DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and my fiance is 22. We get along great and have dated now for nearly a year. We are planning to start a family, but I have a concern that I have never discussed directly with him yet.

My fiance can barely read even though he speaks well enough and is bright enough to do various manual jobs. My concern is that as we age and our family grows, he may need the flexibility of being able to work in different industries or at different types of jobs that offer better pay. The fact that he can barely read at all is definitely going to hold him back from being able to apply for certain jobs in the future if his reading skills do not improve.

I'm concerned about bringing this up to him ahead of our wedding because the topic is certainly sensitive. He is aware that I know he doesn't read well, but we have barely spoken about it, and to be honest it has not impacted our relationship in the least thus far.

Should I discuss this with him soon, or should I just let this issue go entirely? — His Future Wife, via email

HIS FUTURE WIFE: I feel you should discuss it with him as soon as possible. Start by saying that you love him deeply and will always love him no matter what comes along during your lifetimes together.

But I want to explain to him that if he were able to gain reading proficiency, it would give your family extra flexibility going forward and would also increase his own quality of life dramatically.

Whatever the reason is for his lack of reading ability, it can be dealt with to achieve marked improvements using today's technologies and excellent teachers who help individuals like your husband. Encourage him to take some time now to address this issue, and be 100% supportive and nonjudgmental as you do so.

Hopefully, he will agree to move ahead, and this will not only help your family's future prospects but will also do wonders for his personal self-esteem.

SHOULD I SAY ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT I'VE NOTICED?

DR. WALLACE: I recently met a new girlfriend through one of my existing girlfriends, and this new girl and I have discovered we have a lot in common. Of course I'm still good friends with my core group of four other girls I've gone to school with for many years, but there seems to be something special about this new girl that causes me to like her a lot.

However, I've noticed a bit of strange behavior with her in that when we go out to eat together, she will really gorge on a lot of food, yet she still seems to maintain a very slim physique.

She also often disappears after meals, and this has me worried about her perhaps being in a binging and purging cycle.

Do you feel I should say anything to her about this or just ignore it? — Her New Friend, via email

HER NEW FRIEND: I would recommend bringing this up to her as tactfully as you possibly can. You may start by telling her how much you enjoy her friendship and how close you have felt to her recently even though you have only known her for a modest period of time.

You can also preface things by saying that if she noticed something with you that you would always want her to speak to you openly and honestly in a sincere effort to help.

Then, transition from that comment into the fact that you are a bit worried about her for the reasons you have outlined in your letter here. Tell her that you would do just about anything at all to help her in her life, her health and anything else that is important to her.

Hopefully, she may open up to you about her situation, and that would make it easier for you to recommend her getting some guidance or help as soon as possible. Based on what you're telling me, it sounds like she may have the eating disorder bulimia. This affliction often disrupts the entire digestive system, which can trigger other serious health consequences. If this truly is the case, she absolutely needs professional counseling and medical attention as soon as possible. If she does not elect to speak openly with you about it, speak to her parents or guardian about what you have observed, and be sure to do so from the perspective of a close friend of hers who truly loves and cares for her deeply.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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